break upDear John,

I know this will be difficult, but our budding relationship has reached a dead end. 

When I met you, it was your culinary skills that made you stand out of the crowd who just wanted to make penis jokes.  I fell so hard for you.

I felt my heart beating like a percussion quartet when your eyes met mine on a sideways glance.  I should have known then…sideways glances never last.

We were so cute together, I’m so sorry it had to end so soon!

But last night, you really lacked control–although those few minutes were quite intense.

Yes, I’ve met someone else–his gleaming head, fashionable scarves and straightforward talk about Lacan have swept me off of my feet!  Lacan!

It’s hard for me to say this to someone that I care about so deeply, but I will have to cancel our date for tonight.  I can’t live a lie any longer.

Best,

Bwog