Hawkmadinejad Finds His Father, Competition
Written by Bwog Staff
Though Hawkmadinejad’s activities of late have been carefully recorded and analyzed, much of his pre-Furnald-lawn history remains shrouded in mystery and chaos. An ornithologically-inclined tipster, however, points us in the direction of a possible paternal identification:
“Hawkmadinejad is most likely the son of Pale Male, the first raptor bird of NYC, who nested on the most expensive piece of property on 5th avenue a few years back and somehow “lured” a female to his nest with magical pheromones and now has many offspring nesting all over NYC.”
While we hope Hawmadinejad and Pale Male eventually re-connect and Hawkmadinejad recovers from whatever emotional trauma the brief loss of his father might have caused him, it seem right now our winged hero has bigger (and faster) problems to worry about.
Another amateur Audubon points out that another predatory bird has started roaming about the fields of Furnald:
“Watch out, Hawkmadinejad, there’s a new bird in town! I just saw what is definitely a peregrine falcon (the fastest animal on earth) swooping and diving in front of Furnald, across the lawns and near Hamilton. It traversed the campus multiple times, briefly stopping at the tree in front of Furnald, flying at times very low to the ground, buzzing the bushes around the lawns. It also made some awesome tight turns. If I may be so presumptuous, I dub it Nathanial, because that’s what I called Hawkmadinejad before that name became popular.”
You may be so presumptuous tipster. But Bwog hopes Nathaniel isn’t so presumptuous as to believe that he can so easily win the pigeon-prey of College Walk and the loyalties of Hawkmadinejad’s doting admirers. And were he so bold, Hawmadinejad now has Pale Male (not to mention the Gods) on his side.