44 CommentsIn case you haven’t noticed,Columbia’s favorite red-tail has his (or her?) own Hawkmadinebwog! To show our affection, Bwog staffers have been writing haikus in honor of the best individual of Order Falconiformes. Ours are pretty good (see below) but we think you, dear readers and hawk fans, can do better. And since one of H-dad’s favorite things is contests, we’ll give a prize to the writer of his best poetic praise.
Haikus by Katie R., Zach vS and Anna C. after the jump!
Hawkmadinejad,
like wind on early spring days,
ravages squirrels.
-Anna C.
For too long we were stooped
in complacency. Now, from the skies
something new descends, talons bared.
-Zach vS.
Sing Muse of Hawk’s rage:
Such was the wrath of one bird,
Breaker of Squirrels
-Katie R.
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44 Comments
@Anchises Of the hawk I sing
who headlong into the breach
hurls fury and woe
@Poem Hooked beak, beady eyes,
Regal plumage, pigeon feasts:
Hawkmadinejad.
@Haiku-master Suck
my balls
please.
@Hawk Poem Columbia, mine!
I circle, I swoop, I eat
I fly away home
@achilles O furious hawk!
During your aristeia
Please don’t claw my eyes
@Atticus November Late submissions, so
whatever. here they are for
your reading. enjoy.
O Plumed wonder bird
How majestic is your flight
You killed my parrot
Fiery Tailed Bird
Circling above our heads. SWOOP!
I EAT SQUIRREL WHOLE.
Hi! You exhibit
all the signs of a petty
and cruel dictator
O BWOG Comment Thread
Your notes of wit and art, marred
Discoe-Weinberg Battle
Olympian God
Somnambulatory joy
shit, forgot hawk
Feathers float around
A pigeon falls from the skies
Dead. Its life drained. GLORY!
@Atticus November Mentally sep-
arate those every three lines
I fail to parse well
@numanu kt rooo …
@Bloodsport O Hawk from the skies!
For nature-starved New Yorkers
You bring carnal joy.
@With apologies. Oh, where will you be
When the Revelation comes?
(Pst. Think about Yeats.)
@love song You have talons that
pierce like the bow of Cupid.
Oh, avian love.
@Falconry Juvenile killer
Buteo jamaicensis
Apprentice’s dream
@SRB Iranian Hawk;
cruel, petty aviator.
No gays in his trees?
@hahaha how is THIS not in favorite comments??
@ZvS Haiku Masta Scurrying back and forth, you
seek truths from philosophers. But the hawk
already knows the secrets of flavor.
@JNW Circles in the sky
Parabolas through the clouds
Weightless wavelets
@DHI What is this haiku?
Objection! Irrelevant!
It’s about the bird?
@alexw A botch-ed attempt
Your haiku is just one short
Think five-seven-five
@DHI They’re favorites no more
Cuz I’m so fucking modest
My humility rules
“They’re” is pronounced “their” not “they-err”
I am the child educator!
Plus head amputator
@alexw Your haikus are weak
One too many syllables
Don’t quit your day job
@DHI Your haikus are lame
Like Kerri Strug in nine six
But you won’t win gold
@DHI Favorite comments score
Two for me, zero for you
looks like I win this
FAY-VRIT is how to pronounce this word we are not in fucking ENGLAND
@alexw The gallimimus
Predator gives chase in fields
They’re flocking this way
@alexw “Click click” go the claws
There’s raptors in the kitchen
A stainless steel tomb
@DHI Six syllables in “Yes Jurassic Park Rules”
TAKE OUT THE “YES”
IT IS UNNECESSARY
Those kids got away
That’s some ol bullshit right there
raptors should have won
@DHI Also that “Arnold”
Velociraptors ate him
That girl found his arm
@DHI Here’s the real truth though
Sometimes I hate poetry
that’s over the top
@alexw They probably should
We hijack so many threads
Watch Jurassic Park?
@DHI Yes Jurassic Park rules
You know that raptor hunter?
last words: “clever girl”
@DHI The bird is casual
about its skill, grace, and power
so we should be too
@alexw Fuck yourself, Discoe
You know you love that raptor
Don’t be nonchalant
@DHI Go ahead, Weinberg
Start another comment war
They will all hate us
@squirrel fuck! the hawk sees me.
i’ve got no time to finish
this hai-
@lmao i
@mine This is my haiku
This is my haiku for you
That was my haiku.
@DHI Motherfucker done ate
some squirrels and other shit
which is cool i guess
@another Hawk, our Iron Chef
Squirrel paella on math lawn
Perfect score for taste
@epb Rat torn asunder.
You MAGNIFICENT bastard.
Dive, you dread monster.
@alexw A hawk takes campus
Via eminent domain
Needs no approval
@down a notch Here’s a good haiku
I’ll fly up and poop on you
glide off on the breeze.
@grammarian the plural of haiku is haiku
@scansion does squirrels have two syllables?
@ZvS Depends on your dialect. Anyway, a good Orientalist knows that the syllabic rules barely make sense anyway, since the Japanese version counts sounds or some such, not syllables.
@hmmm A good Orientalist would also probably not call himself an Orientalist either.