LateNite: A Hodgepodge of Thwarted Desire

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Are you feeling lonely? Have the crossword puzzles, pornography and Georgi vodka you usually distract yourself with, lost their luster? Then come to LateNite this weekend. The show-case of six original one-acts written by Columbia University’s high-minded undergraduates will remind you that you aren’t alone. The recurring themes of sexual anxiety, pedophilia, and penis envy will remind you that we all share the same problems.

The first sketch, “Monday Crossword” by Stephanie Neel, is a brief venture into the land of middle-aged love, Ivy League self-satisfaction, and crossword puzzling. It is set on a subway car where a competitive couple, a Tisch student and Colin Drummond, are each doing a crossword puzzle. It passed before my eyes as quickly as the 2 express trains on the 86th street platform. The next play, “TINMAD DOG”, written and directed by Mike Molina, revolves around the fruitful if fraught relationship of Norville Rogers, played by Colin Drummond and his vodka drinking, and his conversational dog Harvey, played by Austin Mitchell. So if you are still feeling lonely next term, maybe you should call Austin Mitchell or get a small dog to keep under your bed, rather than keeping your bitchy girlfriend around.

“Rites of Passage” was the more serious drama of the evening. A Lolita-esque version of HBO’s “In Treatment”, it follows the story of Melinda, played by the convincing Birdy Sahagian and her insatiable lust for intelligent, untouchable men. I think we can all relate.

Sam Reisman’s “Press Seven” opened the second half of the show with a scene that reveled in the flagging sanity and painful memories of Jeff Julian’s character, Chris. The elusive voice of a ghostly answering machine reminded him of his dog, whom he inadvertently killed as a boy by feeding it chocolate. If you have ever mourned your childhood and/or ordered a pizza at four in the morning, you will sympathize deeply with this piece. It is a pitch perfect display of that care-free suite mate (played by Henry Mortensen), who would rather eat Berry Crunch than help you out.

Wine connoisseurship was the focus of “A Second Taste” written by Michael Grinspan [ed. note. Bizarre typo.] and directed by Jesse Horowitz. Robyn Schneider was the highlight of the play. She portrayed the most convincing privileged, middle aged, Jewish mother, I’ve ever seen in college theatre. Hi Mom! Lest you still feel melancholic, fear not!

Your evening will end with Jake Green’s play “Prick.” In a veritable sexual explosion, Lily Feinn decides that she wants a penis. If you have been interested in the gender issues of the 21st century, where sex matters most and what equipment you have doesn’t, you should see this play. You will be offended, and showered by cross-gendered cum. Jizz Bang! So rather than blowing all your extra cash on a pizza and Ben & Jerry’s, come to LateNite for some FREE and FUNNY theatre.

-Rosie DuPont


  1. so..  

    Grinspan's play was the EXACT plot of Roald Dahl's short story "Taste." It's a great story, but Dahl should have at least deserved a nod in the program, right now it sort of stands as plagiarism. Amazing show overall though, props to everyone involved, and EVERYONE SHOULD GO SEE IT!

  2. oops  

    Dahl should have RECEIVED a nod...

  3. this

    "review" is so poorly written.

  4. but  

    they were all painfully bad, except for molinas and rites of passage. dont waste your time!

  5. unnecessary  

    "Prick" was unnecessarily over-the-top. Again, prurient fascination with sexuality defines a Columbian artistic endeavor -- yawn.

  6. positive commentor  

    i think they were all fantastic.

  7. look

    props to everyone involved with latenite, etc. but this isn't a review, it's an advertisement. and not in the way a good review is an advertisement. more in the way where it's blatantly a promotion.

    just saying.

  8. positive  

    prick made my life. over the top for a reason!

  9. i wish...

    the plays had been reviewed more on their own merits. and this is coming from someone in the show. thanks for the free press, but come onnnnnn, bwog. lazy.

  10. i'm  

    looking forward to reading a real review of the plays. most were rife with holes in the plot, characters with inexplicable traits (why was rachel leopold's character such a bitch for no reason?), and jokes that fell flat. oh, and plagiarism.

  11. agreement

    at the very least bwog should let us know which latenighter wrote this thing

  12. don't

    listen to the haters, Rosie. I think the review is very much in the spirit of LateNite. (seriously, plot holes?)

  13. FAN  

    latenight was amazing! Hilarious!

  14. Michael Grinspan  

    A Second Taste was basically a just Roald Dahl's "Taste" put into play form with some jokes added. I forgot to thank Roald Dahl in the program. BIG MISTAKE. Roald, thank you.

  15. wow  

    crappy review
    great plays

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