Apr

28

Senior Wisdom: Becky Abrams

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QuickSpec is on hold while we wait for Spec to update their site with today’s paper. So in the meantime, let’s check in with CC senior Becky Abrams for another edition of Senior Wisdom

Name, School:

Becky Abrams, CC 

Claim to fame:

Fruit Paunch, Varsity Show, falling down in the dining hall sometimes 

Post-grad plans:

Land a national commercial and make tons of money!! 

Preferred swim test stroke?

The “inch yourself along the lane separator floaties and never let go” stroke usually works pretty well, unless the lifeguard is like “stop doing that.”



What are three things you learned at Columbia?

1) If you loft your bed a little, you can have a fort underneath.

2) You can sneak alcohol into nearly any meal (eg, how about bringing some peppermint schnapps into John Jay to complement  your hot chocolate?)

3) Don’t read bwog comments. 

Justify your existence in 30 words or less.

I just found out that my class’s valedictorian is a guy who lived on my floor freshman year.  Hooray Maxim!! 

What was your favorite controversy in your time at Columbia?

The time someone poured a bunch of bottles of pee onto the John Jay 9 RA’s door.  That was the most heinously disgusting thing that happened while I was here.  I guess it wasn’t really a controversy, though, since no one supported the pee. 

What Columbia memory best exemplifies your college experience?

Once someone put a condom on a flower on college walk and it stayed there for days.   

Which prof do you think would be the best kisser?

Boh! Vlad Vintila, my intermediate Italian teacher.  Ma certo! 

What percentage of seniors do you think are virgins?

I think each senior is 35% virgin. 

Would you rather permanently give up oral sex or cheese?

It depends – giving cheese or receiving cheese?   

Days on Campus memory?

I unfortunately didn’t attend DOC, but here’s a funny story from freshman year: This guy on my floor moved into the room next to Mark Krotov on the first day of orientation and then never returned.  Eventually we picked the lock and looked in his room and the only things there were a hat and a fan.  I think he had another place downtown. 

Regrets?

Absolument non!

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22 Comments

  1. this is  

    pretty hilarious. "I think each senior is 35% virgin. "
    hahah

  2. ditto ditto ditto  

    This is gold. I'll take each of those pieces of advice. I've read shit talked about Becky Abrams in BWOG comments but clearly she's a funny funny lady.

  3. Did anyone  

    attend DOC?

  4. ugh  

    I find Becky Abrams to be the most obnoxious person on this campus. she ruined the varsity show for me. thank god she's not in it this year.

  5. hmmmm

    To be totally honest I never really 'got' Fruit Paunch's comedy (and sometimes Becky's) but I have to say she is one sweet, charming lady. (And this coming from a guy who thinks they should put all level 5 biohazard containment).

  6. hmmmm

    Above should be "All the theater kids in level 5 biohazard containment."

  7. Rule o thumb

    People who put "hmmmm" as their names are douches. Always.

  8. alexw  

    This was a good Senior Wisdom, and I'm pretty certain I saw that condom too.

  9. for realz  

    this was the best senior wisdom ever. I don't even KNOW Becky, but I'm assuming she's wonderful.

  10. this was  

    ridiculously stupid.

  11. thick  

    can someone please explain the 35% virgin thing?

    and i love becky.

  12. this was funny  

    i don't know her at all, but this was humorous.

  13. invisible_hand

    i know becky, and this was wonderful, and she is wonderful.

  14. Thank you, Becky

    For cropping me out of that photo. And for being a lovely person.

  15. Anonymous  

    you haven't truly lived unless Becky's given you cheese. sorry josh, sophomore year just got crazy.

  16. poor  

    Justify your existence in 30 words or less.

    I just found out that my class's valedictorian is a guy who lived on my floor freshman year. Hooray Maxim!!

  17. babrams-lover  

    becky once farted in my face and after that i could breathe fire!

  18. Anonymous  

    Seriously one of my favorite people on campus. Also, clearly, I can be sure she'll never read this and it'll be weird that I said that or whatever.

  19. anti-rjt  

    here is some senior wisdom for rob trump:

    you remind me of the onion ring i get in my order of french fries from burger king and i HATE onion rings.

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