Next up in our Senior Wisdom series: CQA bigshot and self-described card-carrying lesbian Cait Clancy.

Name, School:

Cait Clancy, SEAS  

Claim to fame:

Queer Awareness Month Head Honcho, CQA secretary  

Post-grad plans:

Very vague year off, then medical school. 

Preferred swim test stroke?

I’m in SEAS, punks.  I’ll build a bridge instead.   

What are three things you learned at Columbia?

1.  If everyone at Columbia would stop talking about how busy they are, they might actually have some time on their hands.

2.  Coalition building isn’t coalition building if you don’t feel like you want to claw your eyes out.

3.  Cardiac output = Heart Rate x Stroke Volume.        

Justify your existence in 30 words or less.

There would be lots of empty inboxes if it weren’t for me.   

What was your favorite controversy in your time at Columbia?

I kind of enjoyed all the Juicy Campus shenanigans.    

What Columbia memory best exemplifies your college experience?

Getting made fun of by my seminar prof for writing all my papers on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The Series.

Which prof do you think would be the best kisser?

Shiro Matsuoka, 75-year-old man (maybe older), Professor of the Science and Engineering of Body Fluids.

What percentage of seniors do you think are virgins?

I bet there are MAD secret virgins out there, so I’m going to go with 20%.   

Would you rather permanently give up oral sex or cheese?

I think I would lose my lesbian card if I said oral sex.  (Yeah, we have cards.)    

Days on Campus memory?

Sitting on the floor in some kid’s John Jay room listening to a group of freshman engage in a philosophical argument about lit hum.  They gave me a paper cup full of Bailey’s.   

Regrets?

A little less studying, a little more fun?