Senior Wisdom: Jesse Cooper
Written by Bwog Staff
Name, School: Jesse Cooper, CC 08
Claim to fame: BWOG Mario Kart Tournament Champion,
Post-grad plans: Proctoring SATs, Mowing Lawns, going to the West Coast, finding a home, working for Steve and Barry’s
Preferred swim test stroke? CHICKEN-T-SWIM BABY! The Inverted backstroke. Yeah, its alright.
What are three things you learned at Columbia?
1) I can drink a whole Hennessey fifth. Some call it a problem, I just call it a gift. (To plagarize Xzibit). Oh I guess I learned that too.
2) Anytime there is free anything, line up about 5 hours early. When student council advertises 100 free anything, keep in mind that 60 of them go to members of the student council and their closest friends
3) The ability to bullshit 5-7 pages about absolutely anything, with footnotes, in 5 hours or less. Its really a remarkable but invaluable skill.
Justify your existence in 30 words or less.
Anyone who can proudly admit to still liking Limp Bizkit deserves a nod, right?
What was your favorite controversy in your time at Columbia?
When I found out that despite his bitter departure, PresBo continues to root for Michigan football. O-H-I-O GO BUCKEYES.
What Columbia memory best exemplifies your college experience?
The ability to get a group of friends to do just about anything with you at anytime of the night good or bad. This is actually going to be a reasonable answer. Want to play ball, send out a mass text, next thing you know, half of Wein is on South Field. Want JJ’s at 3AM? Once again, there will be 15 people waiting there. Its just a remarkable aspect of how small Columbia is, anything from partying to playing put-put at Chelsea piers is always an option with a group of people.
Which prof do you think would be the best kisser?
Kenneth Jackson. He’s got that sweet Southern Charm, stays fit riding bikes and unquestionably has done a walking tour of every single one of the most awesome lookout points in the city.
What percentage of seniors do you think are virgins?
Don’t know but send them to Watson House.
Would you rather permanently give up oral sex or cheese?
Lactose intolerant, this one is easy.
Days on Campus memory?
I was in a traffic jam on the way home from a high school baseball tournament. Baseball or kegger maybe that’s what I regret.
Gotta learn to live with regrets (plagiarizing again, Jay-Z).