In response to the week’s SSN shitstorm, it was quickly discovered that there had been two emails sent to the afflicted persons: It seemed that some of the luckier unlucky were offered two years of complimentary credit card monitoring service and the unluckiest unlucky were not. One Bwog operative fell into the latter category, so she telephoned the good folks at Student Services for some answers. Turns out, luck (or alumni vs. student status) had nothing to do with whether or not you were offered the service. Our operative returned to Bwog full of answers and hope:

“[According to Michael Novielli of  Student Auxiliary and Business Services], in order to be eligible for Identity Guard ‘the company requires that you have a valid U.S. Social Security Number and a U.S. mailing address.’

A-ha! And now here’s where the aforementioned hope comes in for alums/students outside of the US: Novielli also wrote: “If you indeed have both, please let me know and I’d be happy to add you to the list of individuals who will receive an access code granting them a two-year subscription to the service.”

Our operative summarizes: “So moral of the story: if you didn’t get the two year offer and really want it, bitch to Student Services (through the address that was included in Scott Wright’s email) and try to come up with a US mailing address that works for you. If the issue is that you don’t have a U.S. SSN, you shouldn’t be worried in the first place because what leaked is the wonderful fake SSN that Columbia made up for you. Ask, and ye shall receive.”