BREAKING: World Didn’t End!
Written by Bwog Staff
Geneva, SWITZERLAND — This just in from CERN Research Center: It was the culmination of thousands of physicists and engineers working for over a decade in what has become the greatest scientific project the world has ever seen. The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) is built to hurl thousands of tiny particles at speeds approaching that of security kicking you off of South Lawn.
Scientists ran a test of the finalized machine with just spinning protons and were displeased to find out that they did not create a quantum vortex enveloping all of Earth and, indeed, the entire solar system, into a black hole.
But fear not, according to the source of all knowledge, the real fun happens on October 21, when they begin high-energy collisions. Also, for those looking to put one together using their ROLMs and duct tape, CERN published the entire manual for the LHC, totaling over 1500 pages.