Sep

18

Class Bonding Crash Course 2009

Written by

lerner pubClass of 2009, you have officially reached the point at which the school will buy you a Bud Light–and all it asks in return is that you please, please hang out with the rest of your class. In Lerner Party Space. With faint music playing on someone’s iPod speakers. 

By mixing you together with moderate amounts of alcohol and an atmospheric disco ball–a ritual known as Lerner Pub, tonight and for many Thursdays hereafter–Columbia hopes to forge you into a unified body that will scream itself hoarse at graduation and fondly remember Alma when those first big checks come rolling in. You will start by realizing how many of those people you don’t know, how many you once knew and decided you didn’t like, how many you knew peripherally but will never really become friends with.

People will stroll in with posses, regally descending the central staircase, while others will take refuge from awkwardness-producing ambushes by glueing themselves to the wall. You’ll fight through to the front of the beer mob to claim your Solo cup, and then wend your way back to the light by hopping from island to island of familiar faces. But not for too long–you’ve got other places to be. This was just the pre-game.

Welcome to the rest of your life!

– LBD

Tags: , ,

19 Comments

  1. really???  

    out of beer, 30 minutes in?

    for shame, student planners, for shame

  2. wow  

    lol that picture looks so lame. good thing i didn't go and got crunk in other places?

  3. should have thought

    twice about voting for mark johnson for senior president. Maybe if you had someone competent you'd have more than 10 seconds worth of beer...

  4. cc'09  

    the newly-named "40 days until graduation" will probably pale in comparison to LP.

  5. Unfortunately  

    Robert Fuckface Taylor, Darth Vader of student administrators, makes estimates of how many people he thinks will show up, and refuses to allow a quota of more than 1 drink/person for them. The lack of school spirit at this school has much to do with administrators like him, the Greek life advisor, and a couple of people in ResLife who coordinated the war on fun.

    • seriously  

      you are correct. robert taylor = fun's enemy

      • alum

        Yeah Robert Taylor was a bit of an asshole during my time, but then he cooled off a little because we think somebody might have given him a tap on the shoulder or something. Regardless, yeah, the administrative focus on a accountability and the amount of red tape plays a big part in why Columbia lacks school spirit.

    • Good call!

      And so what are you going to do about it? Absolutely nothing, and bitch about it on Bwog and feel accomplished like you actually did something, while the people who tried to fight it are left hanging high and dry, only to feel some solace, like yourself, posting on Bwog.

      Eat shit and do something worthwhile with your life.

  6. random  

    Lerner Pub is a joke. If you want to go out, go to a bar.

  7. the first  

    Teach For America deadline is tonight! Apply! teachforamerica.org

  8. come on  

    there was beer at the bar until 11:45... that is only 15 minutes till the end of the night, not 30 minutes in. give the class councils some credit, they did order more than they were told to.

  9. well  

    I have never been to a Columbia event that didn't run out of beer way too soon so this sounds like about par for the course.

  10. Ugh

    Class of 06 was the last class to have any fun thanks to Columbia either actively doing something or looking the other way.

© 2006-2015 Blue and White Publishing Inc.