Bwog Personals: Start of Something Wonderful

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We asked you. You nominated them. They bothered to reply. And just like that, the first round of Bwog Personals is here. All interested parties should contact Bwog via e-mail and we’ll provide $10.54 for the date. (That’s right — in light of these tough economic times, we’ve begun adjusting for inflation. Just try not to blow the extra 54 cents all at once.)



Year: 2011

School: CC

Major: Economics

Hometown: Roslyn, NY

Best class taken:  Physics 1400, where everyone could mouth “fail” to their neighbors during tests.

Three most-played songs on your iTunes:

Machine Gun Funk (Notorious B.I.G.)

All Along the Watchtower (Jimi Hendrix)

Doin’ Time (Sublime)

Three songs you wished were most played on your iTunes:

Butterfly (Crazy Town)

What Would You Do (City High)

Bad Touch (Bloodhound Gang)

Dream date in seven words or less: Take-out from Koronet

What’s the best way to spend $20?: Microfinance loans for other impoverished, needy econ majors.

Favorite dead language (or favorite programming language): Pig Latin

Favorite Morningside meal: Spicy Specials from the crack deli

Favorite ’90s cartoon: Hey Arnold, especially the episode when Arnold and Gerald dress up as an apple and banana and vaguely seem to get drug money.

When I first came to Columbia, I thought…: “These fields are pretty awesome, I’m gonna chill here a lot…”

Do you fancy yourself a Don Juan, a Don Quixote, a Don Corleone, or a Don King?: Don King, without the hair

Historical figure you have a crush on: Teddy Roosevelt

Girl for Guy: LAUREN WEISS

Year: 2011

School: CC

Majors: Creative Writing and English

Hometown: St. James, NY — suburbia.

Best or worst class taken: The worst was University Writing, which made me hate writing twice a week at 9:10 a.m. It’s very difficult to make me hate writing. (See “Majors.”)

Three most-played songs on your iTunes:

What is Happening? (Alphabeat)

Face to Face (Daft Punk)

If She Wants Me (Belle & Sebastian)

Three songs you wished were most played on your iTunes:

Something Beatles, something Ella Fitzgerald, and something Death Cab for Cutie.

Dream date in seven words or less: Something with a private jet or yacht.

What’s the best way to spend $20?: Spend $3 of it on a Dan Deacon show in some sketchy part of Brooklyn, then spend the remaining $17 on Chinese food after the show.

Favorite dead language (or favorite programming language): Is German dead yet?

Favorite Morningside meal: Cheeseburger and fries from Tom’s

Favorite ’90s cartoon: The Simpsons

When I first came to Columbia, I thought…: “Thank God, I never have to take math again.”

Do you fancy yourself a Don Juan, a Don Quixote, a Don Corleone, or a Don King?: Definitely Don Quixote.

Historical figure you have a crush on: E. E. Cummings. I even have a poster of him in my room.

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  1. Lauren Weiss  

    is kind of my hero

  2. Dhruv V  

    gives out the big D

  3. Dhruv Vashistha = Sex  

    and by the symmetric property of equality, Sex = Dhruv Vashistha

  4. Anonymous  

    I had Dhruv Vashistha with your mom last night

  5. dhruv  

    is a DOUCHE.

    on the other hand, Lauren is soooooo nice!!

    • let me tell you a story  

      listen, dhruv is not a douche. this is a true story -- 100% of it.

      I was walking with dhruv back from o'connells last year. we were really drunk and heading back to campus. we heard this screeching from a side alley. we peeked in and saw this cat totally beating up on a dog. biting him up, clawing him...it was not an even fight.

      so dhruv jumps in there, grabs the cat and throws it under the tire of a passing taxi. goddamn hero.

  6. You don't know Dhruv  

    you think you do, but you have no idea

  7. Dhruv Vasishtha  

    My dream date is with Ethan Wong

  8. Dhruv  

    has a very small penis

  9. this one time  

    i was walking down the street with dhruv and his roomate. His roomate noticed a small animal stuck up in a tree. Dhruv, being the intellect he is, tactfully deducted that this small animal was infact a baby. Dhruv courageously used his great wits positioned his roomate's gigantic mass of hair just under the small baby and serenaded the child with a lovely lullaby and he carefully cradled the descending baby into his roomates hair. goddamn hero

  10. wow

    disappointing. not much else to say.

  11. BWOG!

    quit moving your documents hither and thither. I'm getting lost on the interwebzzzzzzzzz

  12. dhruv  

    One time dhruv some buddies and I went to crack deli to get some delicious spicy specials. Dhruv got a coke but he accidentally the whole thing!

  13. heteronormative  

    What happened to the "girl for guy" "guy for girl" labels? We're just supposed to assume everyone is straight?

  14. dhruv...  

    ...is straight.

  15. I think  

    Lauren looks a like a chill person and Dhruv look like a hot Indian.

  16. cardboard OBAMA  


  17. if i wasnt so shy  

    i would totally accept that date with dhruv

  18. fan  


  19. Lauren Weiss  

    ...is so crazy hot.

    Lauren, marry me.

  20. they should  

    date each other

  21. flex...  

    Someone might want to make note of the fact that Westside no longer accepts flex from 4 to 9pm. I had to charge the $50 to my credit card instead since no one was made aware of this ugh

  22. dhruv  

    is a great person

  23. DON KING


  24. i wish

    i was in town this weekend...

  25. economist  

    $0.54 of inflation? WTF?! That's 5.4% on $10 (anyway, didn't you used to give only $5?), and we definitely haven't had that big an increase in the price level. Where are you getting your numbers, Bwog?

  26. I Would Ask Lauren Out

    If I weren't such a goddamn pussy like the rest of my Columbia guy classmates...

  27. lauren  

    claims that the Simpsons is a 1990s cartoon. i think not. the show while not as good, continues to be relevant. A real 90s cartoon would be like the Prostars.


    other wise she seems chill, and some guy should go for it.

  28. person  

    Dhruv Vasishtha is now a meme

  29. L Dubbs...  

    ... is my Spanish lesbian soulmate. Back off, bitches.

  30. Lauren is great,  

    but why capitalize your secret historical crush ee cummings when that was clearly not the way he wanted it

  31. Dhruv

    makes cherubs scream with joy

  32. Lauren  

    is the funniest girl ever, never a dull moment. Marry me Lauren, Mahry meh.

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