Feb

14

Wrapping Up the Matchmaking: Bwog Personals Round Three

Written by

We asked you. You nominated them. They bothered to reply. We are pleased to offer up the final two beguiling Bwog Personals.  All interested parties should contact Bwog via e-mail and we’ll provide $10.54 for the date.



 

 

 

 

 

 

Guy for Girl (“of my dreams”): VIKRUM THIMMAPPA

Year: 2009

School: SEAS

Major: Biomedical Engineering

Hometown: New Jersey.  Our motto is “liberty and prosperity.”



Best class taken:
Intermediate/Advanced Indoor Soccer (emphasis added on “Advanced,” ladies.)



Three most-played songs on your iTunes:


Monkey Island Theme Song

I Want a Hot Girl (Hot Boys)

Man, I Feel Like a Woman (Shania Twain)



Three songs you wished were most played on your iTunes:
I wouldn’t have it any other way.



Dream date in 7 words or less:
Zvi Galil, London Eye, chocolate-covered strawberries. 



What’s the best way to spend $20?:
You can take the bus!



Favorite dead language (or favorite programming language):
Serbo-Croatian.



Favorite Morningside meal:
Mac and Cheese as prepared by the culinary prowess of Doris Elizabeth Carrion.  



Favorite 90s cartoon:
Justice League.  My favorite character is Hawkgirl.



When I first came to Columbia, I thought…:
with great longing about the day I would make my first Bwog appearance.  This personal is the culmination of four years of diligent effort.  

Do you fancy yourself a Don Juan, a Don Quixote, a Don Corleone, or a Don King?: Don King in style, Don Juan in seduction.



Historical figure you have a crush on:
Benedict Arnold, The American Hero.


Girl for Guy: ASHLEY NIEVES

Year: 2010

School: CC

Major: EBHS

Hometown: Oxnard, CA

Best class taken: Tie between Origins of Human Society with Sev Fowles and Human Species with Jill Shapiro.

Three most-played songs on your iTunes:

Song for a Friend (Jason Mraz)

If You Seek Amy (Britney Spears)

Poker Face (Lady GaGa)



Three songs you wished were most played on your iTunes:


Paranoid Android (Radiohead)

Mediocrity (Millie Manning)

The Way You Make Me Feel (Michael Jackson)



Dream date in 7 words or less:
food, drinks, fun, laughing, dancing



What’s the best way to spend $20?:
16 beers plus tip on a Wednesday night at Lion’s Head



Favorite dead language (or favorite programming language):
Pig Latin



Favorite Morningside meal:
BBQ sandwich with extra crispy french fries and wine from Toast



Favorite 90s cartoon:
Doug hands down



When I first came to Columbia, I thought…:
“wow, I’ll never be as smart as these people, but that gives me a reason to have more fun!”

Do you fancy yourself a Don Juan, a Don Quixote, a Don Corleone, or a

Don King?:
A Don-na Juan-a



Historical figure you have a crush on:
Darwin! Happy 200th Birthday!

Tags: , ,

86 Comments

  1. abc123  

    Ashley is stuck up. She is a future bridge-and-tunnel trophy wife.

    Vikrum seems like a down-to-earth funny guy

  2. i think

    Vikrum is a hottie.. so chill
    ans Ashley is a conceited snob

  3. Big Balla KobeMVP  

    Ashley is hot though. I'd date her.

  4. i know Vik  

    He's actually a very cool guy.

    Ashley used to frequent my floor to visit her friends, and is the hottest 2010er.
    Wish I had the guts to contact BWOG about a date.

  5. fellow new jerseyan  

    new jersey is not a hometown.
    it is a home state.
    had to clarify.

  6. Anonymous  

    Shit yeah Monkey Island

  7. Serbo-Croatian  

    ain't dead. Yet.

  8. awwwwww  

    vikrum is just too cute!

  9. Anonymous  

    i like vikrum!

  10. OMG  

    people, i don't know how else to put this, but STAY AWAY FROM ASHLEY!
    she is wayyy more trouble that she is worth. mental troubles.

  11. A round of applause  

    Both of these people seem awesome
    Ashley is definitely hott - yes, she merits the double 't' - look at the photo for proof, peeps
    and Vikrum is repping Macaulay Culkin zipline - damn fine, son

  12. Lion's head  

    is this true?

  13. VIKRUM  

    if i weren't already dating someone I would reply and ask you out!

    Ladies, vikrum is the man. And he's gonna be a Dr. and he's cuddly.

  14. Anonymous  

    Vikrum rocks!!

  15. i want  

    a bwog personal :( im ronrey.

  16. she's  

    actually not that hot. her legs are quite chubby.

  17. curious

    Bwog, can you post a report on how one of the dates went?

  18. interest peaked  

    Vikrum is everything a woman could ever want in a man. I hear he actually speaks Serbo-Croatian!

  19. yeah  

    that girl is kind of a bitch.

  20. I'd love

    to put my Vikrum in her wet nieves.

    • Anonymous  

      By far the funniest god-damned thing I've seen in a while. And probably the only thing worth reading in this ridiculous exchange.

      • Why

        is he so up in arms? I mean, people said some pretty mean stuff, yes. But they always do. So why so quick to defend on this post?? Just wondering, not taking sides. Pick your battles, I suppose. You should take those great argument skills and apply them to something that really matters...

        • Anonymous  

          Because people like this have been systematically destroying the country for at least the last 30 years. They've grown up in an environment of intellectual terrorism, where any kind of slanderous bile can be vomited out with no consequences. These people are spawn of the ilk of Sean Hannity and the Rush Limbaugh (despite who they probably thought it was cool to vote for) and they need to die off as a species if we're ever going to accomplish anything as a generation. As it is we get off on the most mundane and pathetic human degradation in the obsessive harassment of degenerate celebrities who we're responsible for idolizing in the first place. Should we allow that to ooze over into the realm of our personal lives? Is it fair that one person should be subjected to salvos of what can only be assumed to be lies without even knowing who her attackers are? If they weren't lies, then these feckless pussies would identify themselves and be willing to substantiate their claims. It's one thing to be mean and pick on someone's appearance (I happen to be a huge fan of that), it's another thing entirely to post defamatory lies on a public website that could easily cause someone a lot of damage without ever backing them up or even having the nerve to say your own name in the same sentence. And as it stands, these people are getting away with forcing whomever this girl is to now have to prove her own innocence, which is not compatible with what we supposedly believe in as human beings and as "intellectuals." Habeas corpus, bitches: bring your lame asses to the table and put your name on it if you're going start hurling accusations at people. Otherwise just stay home and wait for the latest round of pictures of paparazzi fodder to come stumbling out of a Hollywood club that wouldn't let you within ten miles of itself so they can continue to buy and sell people like you for gas money. You can't un-ring these bells so someone needs to filter out the noise and translate it into truth. And the truth is that there is no truth and hasn't been any during this whole little pissing contest. There has only been rancorous opinion. Unfortunately, we are apparently so narcissistic and deluded that we're convinced our opinions are relevant, so we present them as fact. But they're not relevant and they're damned sure not fact, and, it should be noted, that that wholeheartedly applies to mine as well. I'm an asshole, you're all a bunch of pussies, and Ashley, whoever the hell she is, is nobody but another name and a face who you people decided to create some sort of sideshow around, so now you get me because I'm just SO over this. How privileged do you people have to be before you stop getting a kick out of other people's misery? Is being at Columbia and getting your asses kissed by the entire known universe not enough? Is having every opportunity in the world literally at your disposal simply boring you to tears? Get a god-damned life, will you? Or maybe a job, so you might know what it feels like to be at the bottom of the food chain for at least ten seconds of your fancy little lives instead of buying into your own ridiculous hype and phony grandeur. Now I have to go; there are some derelict, filthy, diseased fucking scumbag homeless assholes I need to laugh at so I can feel better about how small my subsidized UAH unit is.

          • Curious  

            How can you know that they are all lies? Let us imagine, hypothetically, that one of the purported lies was actually true, and important for the preservation of the public health. How would you propose to disseminate that information?

          • Cav  

            Anonymously in the comments column of a bwog article, of course!

            You can shove your PSA up your Albert Schweitzer ass. At least the backstabbing fifteen year old girls who usually pull this kind of shit aren't so sanctimonious abut it. She's a cool girl. lay off.

          • Anonymous  

            Uh, the CDC, dick; that's how. There are people who are actually qualified to make those sorts of decisions and to make them within the guidelines of responsible policy and the law. Neither you nor I are experts on public health policy, nor are we experts on privacy law. You could easily imply that someone has some sort of health condition (that they don't have) that would still be well within their rights to keep private if they did, the knowledge of which could subject them to all sorts of discrimination from possible employers or other organizations who have no legal right to know, but could benefit from finding out. Not to mention that if someone did pose this sort of health risk, then the only people actually at risk would be those who engage in risky behavior themselves. So no one would be in danger who wouldn't have it coming to them a mile away. Meaning: you're an idiot. Who are you; Captain Planet? You seriously think that anything you do is going to somehow "preserve the public health?" Get the fuck over yourself; no one cares or needs your help you little spaz. And no one's trying to do anything of the sort, by the way; they're trying to be just another edgy little prick (or bitch; I don't know or care) who has nothing better to do than to throw other people under a bus either out of jealousy, simple-mindedness, or a downright grotesque personality. So as soon as we all vote to put any of you in charge of disseminating public health information and preserving our well-being, I'm sure you'll be the first to know and I'd be the last to know why. For now, though, chill the fuck out, will you? Go hand out some condoms or something. Jesus Christ. Who are you people.

          • Anonymous  

            Looks like my semicolon key got a little more play than it was supposed to have. Apologies.

          • Curious  

            You assert there is a right to privacy, and I assert there is a right to know, and a right to free speech (by the way, a false statement doesn't violate a right to privacy, it violates a right to self-defense of reputation and property). Do you think it's a coincidence that several different people have claimed one individual has a specific problem, and no one decided to do so to any of the individuals in the other personals? Here's the deal. Some people have sexually transmitted diseases, and it would be wise not only to use protection, but, since certain STDs can infect nongenital areas as well, to avoid certain people altogether.

            Your statement that everything that has been said is false is as based as speculation as all that you would decry.

          • Cav  

            Did you really just airily parse a finer point about the right to property in a backbiting smear against some girl you may not even know? Honest-to-God really? Is there not some filter in you that keeps shit that arrogant from getting out? Have you been getting plastered off of the smell of your own humanitarian farts for the past hour?

            "Decry"? Are you fucking serious?

          • Anonymous  

            Well, despite your measured tone, there are still some issues that you seem to have ignored. While there is a right to free speech, there are also consequences for things like defamation (which I'll admit I am not as familiar with as you, probably) and slander - consequences that are shamefully avoided thanks to anonymity. My point is that that anonymity removes any credibility from all of these claims since it denies any substantive verification of their truth. But, more importantly, what you haven't been able to do is make a valid argument (under the protection of anonymity) that would logically prove your claims, which seems to be your goal. You're simply asserting your right to make them, which I don't dispute. And I'm asserting my right to not only dispute their truth, but also their validity; there's a difference. You posit that there is an accepted set of facts, and then argue about the right to "disseminate" them, meanwhile using the weakest argument possible to validate your original premise. You seem like someone who would know that correlation is not sufficient for causality. There is no more reason to believe that what you say is true than there is to believe my claim that Vikrum is a pedophile and a rapist. Do you think it's a coincidence that some unidentified person would say that about him in writing? Of course not, so it must be true, whether it's one person or twenty, and whether others have been accused of it or not. You have in no way substantiated the basis of your claim, nor have you made any convincing argument as to why it should be accepted as valid based on the facts accessible to all of us, and neither has anyone else here. So, in addition to lambasting the character of these assholes for irresponsibly slandering someone without the courage to accept any consequences, I've also tried to point out the emptiness of their claims by discussing the simple truth that they are completely without any foundation or substance. And you laying out what "the deal" is may convince you that you're justified in making these accusations, but it still doesn't prove them, it merely gives you the illusion of credibility, which is simply immoral and weak. And I haven't speculated that everything said has been false. I've shown over and over again that they are invalid. And I'm also stating with as much factual basis as you are that they are not factual. I know better than anyone else would, and there's no reason not to believe that. You don't know who I am, and you can't prove or disprove the facts of my claim any more than you or anyone else can substantiate what you've said. And since not a single person who is actually making accusations has been willing to identify and subject themselves to any scrutiny, then all I have to do is assert myself to be more of an authority than you or any of the rest of them and use as much logic to back it up. Here you go: "I'm the authority. Times infinity times a bajillion." So, what the hell did you people think any of this was supposed to accomplish other than making us all look like petty children? Was it the Captain Planet thing; seriously? Do you care that much because, and I'm making assumptions about age here, you people come from one of the most apathetic generations in history, so I find it hard to believe that you're trying to fight for justice here. I think you're all just getting off on some good old-fashioned "Lord of the Flies" style cannibalism. What I don't get is why there's been anyone to defend any of these people. "Curious," you should be just as pleased if I baselessly chew some anonymous schmuck's head off as you obviously were by the rabid pack-hunting that started this whole thing. What gives, hero? Let them deal with it on their own; it's not that hard to cut me down, believe me. But you haven't done anything to successfully support their position or undermine mine, so you must just be trying to deflect the fury onto yourself. Granted, it's a mild, sleep-deprived fury, but a fury nonetheless. I don't get it. Ok; you have the conch now, Piggy. What say you?

          • dude

            don't you have work you should be doing? What the fuck do you major in, that you have time to write fucking dissertations on a blog? And then you have the cojones to say you don't "care" about any of this? I'm afraid to find out the titles of the books you must be writing on the things you do care about. And at 5AM, no less. Seriously man, get a life or go hang yourself.

          • Curious  

            In the first place, "decry" is a simple word; google it, or transfer to the University of Phoenix. In the second place, to clarify, any false statement of fact is defamation, and when it is in written form, it's libel. The fact that my statement is anonymous does not make it less credible, since I would be in no better position to prove it if I were not anonymous, i.e. I wouldn't have access to medical results or the ability to conduct a test. Certainly there is no way for me to "logically prove" an a posteriori concept without those tests. I readily agree there is no way to "prove" what I am saying.

            Anyway, you point out that it's weird that I'm defending one group (the alleged libelers) and not the other (you). The reason is simple and I've explained it before: the first group is actually correct in some of their assertions, whether through random chance or actual knowledge. I am defending them because you are quite vocal in your assertion that they are wrong, and I happen to know that they are right. Maybe correlation can never prove causation, but that does not mean we don't necessarily use it to guide our decisions, and hopefully in this case people will recognize the wisdom in following a widespread and spontaneous clamor to use protection and avoid fluid exchange.

          • Cav  

            And you are a simple case, if remarkably wordy for having your head wedged so far up your colon.

          • Anonymous  

            Oh my god, really?
            Slander is spoken, libel is written, defamation is the general act of both, and you are a nit-picking ass. And suppose you were right (which you're not), then defamation also covers the public disclosure of private facts (which these are not). But both slander and libel require publication, which is certainly the case here. And the laws covering slander and libel are more often being codified under the same statutes, if they're not already. So if I'm not an expert on the semantics of the offense, then sue me. Pick whichever one applies to you.
            And, yes, your anonymity does strip credibility from your statements because you people have been attacking someone's character (essentially) in order to substantiate claims of fact, and no one can judge those attacks in the context of the character of those who are making them. You can't prove that what you believe is true, so you simply accept as fact whatever information you've gotten based on your judgment of the credibility of those who have given it to you. So without the ability to judge you and those who "informed" you (since, as you said, there is no way to prove anything you've said) then there is absolutely no credibility to, or reason to believe, what you are saying, despite how many times you irresponsibly state that it is just fact. However, since you people have continuously posted lies and conjecture as though it were fact, I suppose we can all assume that you are nothing more than trash and then use that assessment to judge what you're saying and dismiss it entirely. If you can't use completely circular reasoning, then you don't know what you're doing, right buddy?

  21. Loves Snow

    Ashley=hot, funny, down-to-earth, and overall awesome!!

  22. Anonymous  

    I’m never not surprised by just how deluded people are. It’s amazing how those of you who are just now coming to a screeching halt after being launched out of the wheelhouse of puberty have the stones to talk this kind of trash. How juvenile and cowardly are you losers to be anonymously picking on people, let alone for how they look? But Ashley Nieves, of all people? There isn’t a law I wouldn’t break just to get someone like her to go out with me. If you freaks are going to be spending $40k+ a year (or leeching it from your parents) you’d think you could find some better way to individuate than picking on people who make you feel bad about yourselves by simply being better than you at life. DIAF, yuppie spawn.

  23. Let's  

    Judge men by their personalities and women by their legs!

  24. Anonymous  

    Guy above the guy above the guy above me hates articles.

  25. Anonymous  

    Good lord, you people need to get laid.

  26. i want

    to shove my pussy up her penis.

  27. heteronormative  

    how come everyone so far in these personals is straight?

  28. lucky girl  

    Vikrum gave me a rose for Valentine's Day! He's so dreamy.

  29. Vikrum  

    has an amazing wingman.

  30. Honest Warning

    As someone with some experience with a certain individual above who shall remain nameless, be sure to spend some of the $10.54 given by bwog on high quality rubber.

    BELIEVE ME! I am usually the last person to talk trash about somebody on a bwog posting but I feel a moral imperative to make this post. You will regret it if you don't wear rubber.

  31. Anonymous  

    Wow. Subtle, cryptic, and completely adult. The upper echelon of academia is proud today.

  32. Anonymous  

    Until you children decide that you are grown-up enough to stop anonymously throwing your little hand grenades with absolutely no accountability, perhaps you should come up with something a little better and more believable than "That chick got with me; what a total slut!" You freaking burnouts need to get spanked.

    • take your

      high and mighty attitude and shove it up your anus. You post on here just like everyone else, and you think your righteous blather impresses anyone? Not only are you a self-righteous douchebag, you are a total moron if you think no one sees through your bullshit. Now go cry in the corner, 'cause I used some baaaaaad words, muthafucka.

      • Anonymous  

        Yes, but I'm not indicting anyone without so much as a hint as to my own identity or credibility. I'm simply pointing out what a bunch of mouth-breathing tools you are (some of you) acting like. And explain something, please: if I'm not advocating on behalf of myself, how can I be self-righteous? I got the righteous part, the first time you said it. But the second time, with the "self" part, not so much. You people are, and I can't stress this enough, ANONYMOUSLY attacking someone's character and demonizing her. So, I'm simply advocating on behalf of the demon. Call me a devil's advocate, if you will. And fortunately, there's nothing to see through. It's all fairly transparent: I think you people who are doing this are pathetic mongoloids. I gain nothing and don't care. It's simply an opinion. But I'm not lying about you to get off. That's not necessary. Although it would be easy. "#41 is a little NONCE prick who'd screw his own cousin if he thought it would impress his whore of a sister. And he has herpes. And he plagiarizes."

  33. vikrum thimmappa  

    disease free since '93!

  34. Anonymous  

    Holy shit; is that when you were born? Are you younger than The Simpsons? That's nuts, dude. Nuts.

  35. Anonymous  

    And yes, I meant "the" Rush Limbaugh. That's what that fat-ass junkie calls himself.

    • ...

      By the number of posts made by this Dorian character from 8:25PM to 4:58AM last night, it looks like somebody didn't have a Valentine... :(

      No wonder he is a little sour and claiming that these bwog posts are "destroying the country"...

      bwog, please do a personal profile of this kid so he can get a date and let out his sexual tension in a more constructive outlet

      • Anonymous  

        ZING! That's a beast of an argument, man. What the hell kind of rapist are you if you automatically equate hatred and aggression with sexual tension? Mothers, hide your daughters, am I right? Quite the little catch on the prowl.

  36. Zvi Lover

    Vikrum's Dream date is now my dream date. Oh Zvi, we miss you.

  37. cheap!

    "16 beers plus tip on a Wednesday night at Lion's Head"

    so cheap, c'mon guys, the proper tip is $1 per drink, even at happy hour prices. the least you could do is fifty cents per tip!

  38. random  

    So, this thread has now degenerated into the defensive left-wing hack who-is-never-wrong versus the world. Keep posting, Dorian. Your arrogant vitriolic posts are quite entertaining. It seems like you would be a good date for Ashley. One topic of conversation could be how you plan on holding people accountable for their actions on an anonymous board while you yourself post anonymously.

    • seriously  

      the credibility of his argument(s) degenerates with each additional post he makes.

      get yourself to CPS, Dorian - before you blow your lid!

      • Anonymous  

        Credibility is absolute; validity is fallible, so I suppose it could degrade (which is what you probably meant), but you've not said how. Make a real point, loser. And the other guy: I don't know where "left-wing" or "never wrong" came from since I basically made it a point to say that my own opinion was as asinine and irrelevant as anyone else's, probably especially yours. And I've never been paid to write drivel, I do it for free (obviously). So "hack" is a bit out of place too. But that's typical; assume and then attack the politics of those who disagree with someone whose only substantive characteristic IS their politics, rather than attempt to make any headway into the argument itself. And, since you seem to be incapable of following a line of reasoning, my "arrogant (again, I refer you to the point I made earlier) vitriol" is directed at those who have anonymously committed outright slander; not anyone who simply voices a disagreeable opinion. And while everyone may disagree with my opinion, I've yet to accuse anyone of anything other than stupidity based solely on what's contained within these ridiculous posts, so I've done nothing hypocritical or in violation of my own principles or logic. Nice deflection, but if you want my name, sweetheart, all you have to do is ask.

  39. Vikrum  

    i've seen him at dodgea lot. not that he needs to work out. he's like...rippling with muscles. and good times.

  40. enginerd love

    enginerds always know how to make me smile.

  41. Lars  

    Ashley Nieves is painfully gorgeous. And she knows more about gibbons than all y'all.

  42. random  

    In a non-Dorian sort of way.

  43. win  

    Isn't Vikrum awesome? I would like to make known that the zip line is actually in a professor's apartment. Believe it.

    Also, I hear VT's a stallion in the sack. Catch him while you can, ladies!

  44. Geezer  

    Oh these lovely flame wars remind me of the seventh grade. Do continue this callowness, please.

  45. abc123456  

    Dorian, you must be that guy in every CC/Lit Hum class who must always have the last word. Y'know the kid that everyone else in the class secretly wishes he would shut the hell up for once.

    • Anonymous  

      Wow. I'm not even going to start in on the mechanics of that sentence. I'm sure I could use some editing, but jesus christ, man. I must I must I must be ubiquitous, mustn't he? And believe me, people wanting me to shut up has got to be the worst kept secret in history. Just look at how many of you jackasses have been whining at me for the past 2 days. So thank you for your concern, guys, but it honestly doesn't take much time out of my life to unwind on a bunch of hormonal little trogs like you. Just learn to manage your time wisely; it's not that hard. Oh, and nice choice of words, "dude," you insensitive piece of shit. Maybe you can go dig up that SEAS kid and sling his noose onto some black professor's office door while you're at it; really spike the ball on your callous disregard for the community you live in. Or maybe just eat him, I don't know. Whatever blows your skirt up, man.

      • I think

        You should stop losing sleep over blog threads. I also think you should blow your brains out; nooses are much too complicated to tie correctly. Also, with a gunshot, someone might actually realize you're dead--not that you would be missed, but at least your carcass wouldn't stink up your room.

        • Anonymous  

          Wow. And that is just about as much dull as I've got the patience for. Two things: I don't have any sleep to lose, and I guarantee you I'm a bigger fan of suicide than you are. Shame; we could have been friends.
          Good night, and good luck.

  46. NOTICE

    If your comment is longer than 4 lines, NO ONE WILL READ IT.

    Internet 101. Class dismissed.

  47. bi-curious  

    based on EXTREMELY reliable second-hand sources, mr vikrum has recently ascended to the ranks of semi-pro dancer. i heard he's stretchier than gumby

    and he's a part-time zombie killer. sexy...

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