Senior Wisdom: Mallory Carr

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As the senior class heads out into the real world, Bwog traditionally delays them a few minutes to get their final thoughts on their time at Columbia, and their advice to their successors. So we proudly present the first installment of a many-part series profiling the Class of 2009. You can follow the rest here.

Name, School
: Mallory Carr, CC

Claim to fame
: I’m actually not really sure if being asked to do a Bwog Senior Wisdom counts as fame. Either way, 2-year RA, URC, MRC, CCSC, DDC, lots of acronyms. I was also known as “that girl on crutches” during first semester, freshman year.

Post-grad plans: Teach for America – HS Special Education in South Central LA. And then after that, I’m really going to try and save the world.

Favorite study spot: Social Work library. It’s a hike but I swear everyone is happy there.

What are three things you learned at Columbia?

1. The underrepresented majors are actually way more fun- our professors know us, we have wine & cheese parties, and are generally much happier and less competitive.

2. There are 2 ways to anger a Columbia student- run out of their size of a free t-shirt at an event you’re running, or run out of their favorite type of free food at an event you’re running. Either way, don’t run out of free things at your events.

3. The more times you call HAPPY and get increasingly angry, the faster your maintenance request will be filled. Even better if you can get an angry parent to call on your behalf.

Justify your existence in 30 words or less.

If I have blank space in my planners and nothing to do, I really do start feeling sick. Then I join another group. And yes, I have multiple planners.

What was your favorite controversy in your time at Columbia?

Hunger strike, definitely. I still don’t understand how the Major Cultures requirement could make me want to starve myself to death. There are worst things in the world and I still can’t see myself starving for many of them, let alone for the Core.

Any battle wounds/war stories from the War on Fun?

I’m an RA… but I did hear a loud party in Carman once and when I went to break it up, it was actually a birthday party for a large group of Orthodox Jews, complete with cake, ice cream, and Pride and Prejudice (the one with Colin Firth). After a slice of cake, I allowed them to continue the festivities. Does that make me the cool RA?

Would you rather permanently give up oral sex or cheese? Yes.

What do you wish you could tell the Class of 2013 before they come here? If you take the 1 train downtown to 96th or somewhere comparably close, and then take the bus back uptown, it counts as a transfer and saves you $2. It took me awhile to figure that out. Also, try to go abroad before you graduate.

Regrets? I went to a football game and decided that it was unnecessary for me to paint my entire face light blue (see picture). Someone else in our group did paint her entire face light blue and won Fan of the Game. I regret not painting my entire face light blue (and also regret never winning Fan of the Game).

In all seriousness, though, that’s my only regret. I’ve had a filling 4 years and wouldn’t change a thing. There are a lot of things that Columbia can improve upon but I’m also incredibly grateful to how much it has given me and taught me, and am really looking forward to becoming a Columbia alumna!

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  1. transfer  

    it takes FOREVER to get back up to 116th by bus b/c it stops every 2 blks

  2. cc09

    SO TRUE about the two ways to anger a Columbia student.

  3. yay  

    i love you mal! :D

  4. awww  

    mallory is my hero

  5. Anonymous  

    is always smiling when I see her on campus. I don't even know her but she is so happy and it really makes my day. good choice bwog.

  6. Nice  

    Aw I love Mallory such a sweetheart!

  7. Damn...  

    She is hella wise...

  8. Oral sex or cheest

    she didn't anwer the question

  9. Human rights '09  

    Hooray wine and cheese!

  10. Ugh  

    This girl is way too into herself. Apparently she solicited votes for her Class Day award.

  11. actually

    It's a pretty major holiday, religiously.

  12. Mal  

    Is a treasure. However, I do call shenanigans on that R.A. story. Who was on duty that night Mal, hmmmmm?

  13. biggest, biggest tool  

    if her being an ra didn't cut it... why talk shit about a controversy you obv didn't understand?

    if these ppl saw that their institution displayed signs of the hate and negligence that's tied to wars abroad as well as shitty conditions in the very communities *you're doing TFA for this fall*, why talk smack about their use of the hunger strike, a student technique with precedents all over the country for the past half century?

    change the world? you're really just a footsoldier.

    • lol  

      activist troll. It was a bullshit technique and no one will take you seriously for that nonsense.

      And yes, Mal is a footsoldier for a better world. "Your institution displaying signs of hate and negligence" - what a load of utter bullshit. I can't think of a university with more of a left-leaning conscience and more radical-left, activist professors. You're the real tool here - why not apply to Liberty university? Or Alabama State? No, you applied to Columbia, where you find a majority of people agree with your political point of view, academia provides some basis for your bizarre conceptions of history and politics, and you can feel comfortable decrying those who disagree with you, knowing at least an angry vocal minority will support you. If you had any balls, you would have gone to a university that was truly hateful and negligent, and fought the fight where it was most needed, not where it is least needed

    • that was harsh  

      1. she's still a tool.
      2. she's been in columbia too long
      3. she really does not know what it'll take to change things. i wish the best for TFA and south central l.a.

    • Laughable

      Hey everyone, point and laugh at the guy who thinks the Hunger Strikers were right!


    • Ah yes

      But its use all over the country is also a completely laughable misuse of a very powerful method of protest 95% of the time.

  14. really?  

    you're an idiot

  15. my $0.02  

    I've known Mallory for many years and, though I think she's been an active member of various acronymed organizations, I do find her a bit too pompous. It's difficult to get in a word edgewise that doesn't involve her when you're conversing with her. It often feels that you're in the Mallory Carl Show as an unwilling extra. But, thank god she's nice and smiley and bubbly enough to forgive her for self-fixation! Because we all know that nice people aren't really self-important egotists; how could they be when they're so nice?

    Then again, maybe this is the type of "wise senior" we should all aspire to? At least we can then get awards and such.

  16. random  

    The grapevine says that this girl is a screamer.

  17. yayyy  

    I love Mallory Carr!!! URC love forever! =)

  18. To all the haters  

    If you're hating on Mal then you obviously don't know anything about what an incredible person she really is. Both beautiful inside and out and the only time I've seen her ever upset is arguing for something she really believed in. I think it's quite fitting to have Mal as the first senior wisdom and I know that I will miss her dearly.

    Love you madly, Mal!

  19. EAL  

    Mal, I salute you.

    To the silly activist, grow up.

  20. I disagree  

    Mallory is probably one of the least pompous people around. She never takes credit for doing anything even though she is always behind the scenes helping and/or running the event. She makes sure to collect student opinions and really wants to help the rest of the campus out in any way possible. She is one of the only people that I can talk to about everything going on and who sits there to listen to me... I do not know where you care coming up with these ideas.

  21. heeeyy

    didn't she have to step down from her elected position???

  22. mallory  

    is fake as hell. trust me, i've known this girl for a very long time.

  23. jj5 '05-'06  

    yay! we're represented!

  24. lammeee  

    mallory's fine and all but if you want a real sweetheart you should talk to Shalini, SGA's rep for university programming. she makes mallory look like george bush

  25. Delta Sig  

    didnt know they were letting them in these days

  26. come on people...

    why do you people have to pass judgment on every little thing bwog posts?! aren't exams coming up? STUDY.

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