Under the Big Tent
Written by Bwog Staff
Dear underclassmen: When you get to be a senior, Columbia will start dong nice things for you, in hopes that those good feelings will be the ones that stick when you have more money than you need for basic survival. Senior dinner is one of those things, and this evening, many thousands of dollars went into an elegant if predictably mediocre meal to celebrate the class of 2009’s last day of school.
Twas a convivial affair in that circus tent on South Lawn, as roughly a thousand seniors lounged with good friends and rediscovered others who had fallen by the wayside. Embarrassing photos beamed onto the tent roof above, disproportionately featuring senior class president Mark Johnson, who received lackluster applause when he took the stage to say a few words about something. There was decidedly more enthusiasm for the Senior Fund announcement by a beaming Kristin Kramer: 90 percent participation, which surpassed the 86 percent record set by the previous record-holder! Guess half a year of threats, bribes, and guilt trips finally paid off.
CCSC President George Krebs did his signature song and dance, but he was really only there to introduce the night’s main attraction, dearly departing Dean Austin Quigley. No doubt slightly sauced himself, the ebullient Brit fairly leapt out of the Varsity Show throne installed for the occasion and into a routine based on his theatrical alter ego. Little too close to reality there, Sir! This, followed by a series of recycled one-liners (“Love makes the world go round, but alcohol makes it go round twice as fast!”) platitudes (“This is the greatest Columbia College class of all time, and I am proud to graduate with you”) and a few genuine pearls of wisdom (“The chief value of a Columbia life is the great company it allows you to keep.”) After 14 years on the job, he can be forgiven for a few cliches.