Closing Remarks – Hold Back Your Tears

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Goodbye, spring semester, we hardly knew ye. Your professors’ most worthwhile closing remarks to beguile and make you smile from Spring 2009.

Caterina Musatti, Intermediate Microeconomics: “Let’s have a pleasant last class…which means you obey!”

James Shapiro, Early Shakespeare, after a student performance of Richard Curtis’ Skinhead Hamlet: “Now, go try that with a group of sixth graders.”

Solomon Mowshowitz, Cellular/Molecular Immunology: “…and to everyone…this class rocks.”

George Saliba, Contemporary Islamic Civilization, on the perils of foreign language idioms: “I still don’t know the difference between knock up and knock off.”

So many, many more after the jump.

Ovidiu Savin, Modern Analysis II: “It was very good year that you put up with me and that I put up with you.”

Jeffrey Lax, Judicial Politics: “The journal rejected my article, saying that it did not contribute anything to the preexisting literature. So all I can say is that I’m sorry for making you all read that piece of shit.”

Murat Eyuboglu, Music Hum, to the class he took over from an ailing professor: “It was nice to have met you all, though ideally I never would have met you at all.”

Jae Woo Lee, Advanced Programming: “[Say hello] if you see me around campus…or in Pinkberry.”

Andrew Nathan, Chinese Foreign Policy, explaining the “Blue Sky” policy for positive Chinese growth: “It’s the end of the semester, have a party, have a beer! What might really happen? Take the handcuffs off!” Then, on a potential “tipping point” scenario for China relations: “And then they’re going to start flavoring McDonald’s hamburgers with soy sauce, and that’s the tipping point!”

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  1. Good one for Bulliet  

    (Thinking about a solution to Israel/Palestine).....What's my position on this???

  2. What is the... way to get into Clem H's pants?

  3. another  

    Prof. George Saliba, in Science Across Cultures (co-taught by Prof. Matt Jones):

    "This is your turn to complain, to bitch, to make suggestions. 'Bitch' is no longer a derogatory term! I have made an attempt to learn the American idiomatic expressions."

    Student (who goes by his middle name which has confused Saliba all semester) then points out that "bitchin'" means "cool" or "awesome".

    Saliba: "Which one is your bitchin name??"

  4. Jeffrey  

    Lax - evil twin of Jeffrey Sachs.

  5. aw!  

    hooray for jae!

  6. Anonymous  

    Professor G. Michael Guy addressing the class right before our Calc I final exam last year:
    "At the end of this exam you will all leave here as men. Unless you're a barnard student. If so, you will remain a barnard student at the end of it."

  7. haha  

    I bet my prof was the only one to bring ice cream to the last day of class. mmmmmmmmmmmm

  8. that

    picture makes my life

  9. djdjkld  

    every single one of my professors:
    no idea because i've been too messed up to go to class for the past week

  10. Solomon Mowshowitz...  

    is totally my homeboy.

  11. last

    yeah Savin apologized for being a bad teacher.

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