The Helmsley Hotel has cancelled a banquet scheduled for next weekafter learning that Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was expected to attend and speak.  Ahmadinejad, shown, growls toothily in response.  (NY Post)

The summer’s high incidence of shoplifting has inspired storeowners’ increased attention to securityFilling your Tupperware with free salmon dip at Westside Market just got more exciting. (Spec)

Gay marriage-advocating politicians tell audience “politicians are weak.” Next week: do they really like kissing babies? (Spec)

NYC comptroller William Thompson is airing his first mayoral campaign ads today, and “he will receive a major political endorsement, from Gov. David A. Paterson, in Manhattan.” In other news, the word “major” has been redefined as “completely useless, will likely drag down the endorsed’s numbers.” (NYT)

A Connecticut school bus driver has been arrested after leaving a sleeping five-year-old alone on the floor of his bus for over an hour.  Now that’s just nasty… (1010WINS)