Open the G-20 economic summit a la President Obama, denouncing Iran for harboring a secret nuclear facility and “breaking rules that all nations must follow.” (NY Daily News)

Take a hint from the 1199 Service Employees International Union, and “hash out” a heated contract negotiation with Columbia University Medical Center. (Spec)

Join environmental groups in protesting the recently reopened High Line Park, whose decking has allegedly been constructed from Amazonian rainforest wood. (Gothamist)

Should you find yourself in a tiff, remember Senator Hiram Monserrate’s example of what not to do.  If necessary, use a Solo cup in lieu of glassware. (NY Post)

Picture Kirsten Dunst, who appeared Thursday at Manhattan’s State Supreme Court to testify against the supposed thief of her $2,000 handbag, and whose good humor in the face of all things stressful has become the stuff of legend. (NY Times’ City Room)

Finally, tame your inner beast with the fact that Columbia has been named one of the nation’s top ten schools for Asian American student activism by Asian Pacific Americans for Progress. (apaforprogress.org)

Still pissed?  Well, the article’s over.  You can go find your own damn cheery YouTube video.