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Ineptitude via www.nypost.com
If you ask nicely enough, the Postal Service will send your letter to Santa. (1010WINS)
If you fire a gun, the cops will hear it. With computers! (New York Times)
If you’re a waiter and fail to bother your customers for their e-mail addresses, you will get YELLED AT A WHOLE %&$*@#$ lot. (NY Post)
If our two local horrendous basketball teams play, one of them has to win, right? Right? (New York Times)
If you don’t give up your seat on the subway, you might get stabbed. Really. Avoid eye contact. (NY Post)
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