Your Professors’ Last Remarks, Please

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  1. alas  

    it seemed like just yesterday the first remarks were posted... kinda like this first remark... whattup!!!!

  2. Harmony Hunter  

    so does anyone have any insights into where I can locate this building?

  3. Phallus.  

    I like Lacan. He slaps you in the face with...? The phallus.


    It's the last class. I don't care what I say.

    Vincent Aurora, French Cultural Workshop

  4. oh  

    "I'm never teaching this class again."
    -Ryan Chaney, The Road

  5. 2xDegree

    "I don't know why the discussion board failed, but it--it BOMBED. That's the way it goes."

    -Stephen Garfinkel, Survey of Biblical Lit I

  6. Cell Biology  

    Liz Miller: My favorite chlamydia story is --
    GS Student: You must have a lot of them.
    - Awkward pause -

  7. Bruni  

    "Remember in doing your evaluations to be constructive with your comments. professors really do read them and work off of them, and it's best if your teacher is not crying in the closet. So constructive, not cruel."
    Prof Lindemann, Science of Psychology

  8. Mormonism  

    Okay, everybody. Um, have a nice life!
    - Randall Balmer, Mormonism

  9. Cows go....  

    "bovine flatulences...yes, cow farts" (in talking about the causes of the Greenhouse Effect)

    - Professor James Applegate, Astronomy

  10. Professor Andijar's ears must be burning  

    Randall Balmer, Religion in American Culture:
    "If you’ll allow me a personal note. Today marks the end of my first 25 years of teaching at Columbia. And I want to thank you for that, and I mean that. On my first day of teaching, I showed up to class and there was no one there and it was devastating, right out of grad school. And so I thank you for that. Without you, I’d probably be stuck teaching Introduction to Comparative Religion or something stupid like that."

  11. bc '11  

    "Conclusions are stupid."- Peter Connor, Introduction to Translation Studies

  12. Anonymous  

    Graciela Chichilnisky, Seminar in Microeconomic Theory:
    [no comment]
    (i.e. she didn't show up)

  13. Theories of the Universe  

    "So this could all point to an anthropic principle. Or it might signify that we all just have too much time on our hands. And with that, the course ends!"

    Joseph Patterson, Theories of the Universe (Astronomy)

  14. :)  

    "The only reasonable explanation was that the fairies were using cobalt salts"

    John Magyar, Inorganic Chemistry (discussing Sleeping Beauty)

  15. Maura Spiegel—British Literature 1950 to Present  

    (trying to think of some final thoughts) Ummm.....I like you?

  16. Nuriel Moghavem  

    Professer Firestein played this on the last day of class in Neurobiology I in explaining the sense of smell:

  17. Hah  

    From Musatti in principles "If i were a man they'd say, 'oh he has balls!'"

  18. balmer  

    is amazing in so many ways.

  19. Best Conclusion: No Competition

    Professor Connor, in his translation studies class, started out saying that "Conclusions are stupid." and then proceeded to quote some French guy about how "Stupidity consists in wanting to conclude."

    On a side note, Intro to Translation Studies (which won't be offered again until next fall) is one hell of an awesome course.

  20. richard billows  

    "One can imagine a person's arm getting somewhat tired after awhile if they've been stabbing dead bodies over and over again."

  21. okay...  

    Prof. Benelli of History of Architecture fame ended the class by playing a video of Louis Armstrong singing "Bare Necessities". I'm gonna miss his cute Italian accent!

  22. Prof. O'Faherty - Urban Economics  

    "In other Economics classes they teach you that bonds are important. I teach you that going to the bathroom is important, which it is!"

  23. put these on culpa!  

    Post these to CULPA also so they will remain forever in famy!

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