Found on Craigslist between “Skiing near Columbia and want to get plowed” and “Hot hole for dick”:

Cook Poo Please Come Back! – m4w – 30 (Harlem / Morningside)

Your seat has been so empty since you left. Oh, how I miss you so.

Baby come back, any kind of fool could see
There was something in everything about you
Baby come back, you can blame it all on me
I was wrong, and I just can’t live without you

But seriously, I need more students in my class in order to keep my job at Columbia.

-Ted Mosby

Bwog wishes him the best of luck.