1. Wet Jacket  

    To the person who stole my umbrella,

    You obviously didn't take Sarkozy's cooperative message to heart. Thanks to you I had to trudge home in the rain. If you truly believe in a brighter tomorrow (where we may not even need umbrellas!), you'll return it. Key features include being foldable, black, Business School Logo ( I took it from them, but I'm not ceding the high ground now!), and being mine and not yours.

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