NSOP Gossip: Three Days Before NSOP Edition

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  • Christy Carlson Romano of Kim Possible fame is back at Barnard! She was spotted in the Reslife office today, and is here to finish her degree.
  • Barnard deans have apparently forbidden Barnard OLs from high-fiving first-years as they walk through the Gates yelling and screaming on the first night of college.
  • Columbia and Barnard OLs have gotten some linguistic rules: freshmen are to be referred to as “new students” not “kids”; it’s a “residence hall” and not a “dorm.”
  • NSOP crew chiefs have been given acronyms to remember what kind of language is appropriate to use when speaking to fresh-people, which makes sense, since in several cases the first-years are a full 7-8 months younger than the OLs themselves.
  • One such acronym: D.O.R.M= Dismal Ordinary Room of Mine
  • Another: R.E.S.I.D.E.N.C.E H.A.L.L= Really Exciting Sensational Individually Designed Enlightened New College Experience that Houses an Abundance of Life and Love

Couldn’t make this stuff up if we tried. Sleep well, Columbia.

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  1. Counter attack

    I say for the whole year we upperclassmen refer to freshmen only as kids and our residence halls as dorms. Heck, I say for now I we drop the "Hall" part of each dorm's name and replace it with dorm.

    "Where do you live"?

    "John Jay Dorm"

    • ok i can get behind this

      east dorm, or east campus dorm?

      • Counter attack

        While lulz could be had by saying east dorm and getting people to wonder around East(Buell) Hall looking for the tenth floor (someone is going to get drunk enough to do that one day), we can't get too silly. However, we could just rename it party dorm, cause that's what it is.

        But I vote East Campus Dorm

  2. I want to get paid for this

    DORM = Delightful Optimum Room of Mine
    RESIDENCE HALL = Rat-infested Edifice Stuffed with Insidious Douchebags and Execrable Nauseous Creeps that will Exhaust your Heart and Atrophy your Life and Limbs.

  3. i go for

    fuck palace.

    practice safe kids.

    welcome to columbia!

  4. Anonymous

    I don't understand the logic behind OL's being prohibited from high-fiving the kids as they walk through the gates back to their respective dorms. I mean I'd high-five a bitch all i want.

    Just kidding. I <3 Barnard chicks.

    Oh yea one last note. Most CC chicks would flag this, because they fail to recognize how fucking lame they are, and to that end, why guys would prefer a Barnard hoe.

  5. orwell

    i HATE it when people tell you how to use language, it's just not acceptable, especially at a liberal arts college. also, "residence hall" is often degraded to "rez hall," which is evocative of terribly Indian Reservations. Residential Programs, are you reading this!?

  6. The King of Spain

    The kewt acronyms are just the kind of inept problem-solving that Residence Life and Housing & Dining exists to do. Plaster falling down? Paint over it! Food sucks? Get rid of trays! Campus get Krommed? Change some names and add an online quiz!

    Columbia's concern for students is only motivated by a fear of lawsuits and its superficiality is so obvious it hurts.

  7. Anonymous  


  8. CCR Fan

    Wikipedia says that Christy Carlson Romano graduated in 2006 with a poli sci degree. Is she here to stay or what?

  9. ...  

    Jesus Christ, why is everyone here so bitter?

    • hah

      welcome to columbia! to be bitter is our right, a signal of your columbia blue, your school spirit. to be judgmental and cynical, only to be tamed with alcoholism...a life of contemplative study in argument deconstruction. this is your plight and destiny.

  10. when is

    move in for the rest of us?

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