Aug

29

Oh, And Trojans

Written by

The Container Store is still open; return your stupid storage boxes today!

If you’re anything like us, you’re spending hours researching and cross-referencing lists of things to take to school.  Living in the storage closets that are Columbia dorms presents its own special challenges, however, so we’ve compiled a list of the things we Bwog editors forgot when we came to school for the first time, as well as a few things that the more ambitious will take but never need.

The Forgotten:

  • Earplugs & eye shades.  You might think you’re a deep sleeper but nothing’s louder than your roommate’s frantic term paper typing at 3 a.m.
  • Shower slippers & caddy. Your dungeon-like bathroom will be shared by no fewer than four people. You’ll want to let as little as possible touch those grimy tiles.  While you’re at it, don’t forget the antibacterial hand soap to wash away all those germs you got taking a shower.
  • Trash can & trash bags. Some rooms come with them, but even if they do, you’re going to have more garbage than you know what to do with. Plastic bags from Westside will also suffice.
  • Disinfectant spray, paper towels, & mini-vac. New York is dusty and men are hairy.  You may have checked “neat” on the roommate preference form but remember that the slobs did, too.
  • Rain boots & umbrella. Manhattan is miserable in the rain.  Your sneakers don’t stand a chance.’
  • Ethernet cable, extension cords, & power strips. Seriously, no one thinks to bring an Ethernet cable.  Enterprising students have been known to traipse through freshmen dorms selling bookstore cables at a large markup. Bring one 50 feet or greater in length and you’ll be set for four years.
  • Packing tape, painter’s tape, Scotch tape, & duct tape. For boxes, posters, papers, and roommates, respectively.
  • Stapler, scissors, hole punch, ruler. Never ever lend your stapler out because you’ll never see it again.
  • Extra sheets, drying rack, & two hampers. You’ll be wanting to dry some things in your room instead of sacrificing them to Mac Gray.  In addition, keep an extra hamper (or basket) for bringing your clean laundry back to your room.  As for the sheets, someone will throw up on them one night right before you go to bed (we promise!) so it’s handy to have an extra set.
  • Electric kettle & weekend-sized suitcase. Ramen and tea will soothe the soul and the suitcase can be your weekend escape.  Or you’ll just be looking for a way to transport your books to Butler, a tried and true finals tactic.

The Unused:

  • Clock.  Trust your cell phone to give you a sense of time when you’ve lost your own.
  • Organizational goodies like hanging wire cubes, crates, and cubbies.  There’s no room in the tiny dorms we’re confined to for these. At most, you might find plastic under-bed boxes useful. Don’t get swallowed by the Container Store black hole.
  • Iron. C’mon, Mom. Either fold your laundry when it’s fresh out of the dryer or don’t wear things that wrinkle.  For those few occasions when you just have to put a crease in your pants, there’s always that one kid on your floor who has everything.
  • Robe. College life isn’t luxurious and everyone’s used to moderately naked people.  Hone your towel skills and maybe spend your money on a Slanket/Snuggie instead.

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26 Comments

  1. Anonymous

    Crowns are better than Trojans.

  2. overall true but  

    i have DEFINITELY used my clock-always good to have a back up alarm in case your drunk ass can't hear the phone, or, far more common, forgot to charge it.

    also, allow me to suggest those hooks you can stick to the wall but still easily remove, because there is never enough space to hang all your shit.

  3. Anonymous

    Don't buy an Ethernet cable. Wait until the Give & Go Green sale, where you can buy them for practically nothing. Ditto refrigerators.

  4. man

    Men are hairy? Women are much worst at shedding. Though I guess a lot of men are going for the smooth look. Either way, DirtDevil is a must!

  5. Try

    A desk lamp or some sort of upright lamp you can place in the corner, because lets face it, the lighting in pretty much all dorms sucks.

    Refrigerator is a good suggestion from anonymous above (You know, to bring down the average kinetic energy of shit). Columbia University will try to rent it to you, but since you'll be in NY for the next couple of years, newyork.craigslist.org is a good place to look for pre-owned items.

    Not essential for your dorm but...If you're going to be studying in Butler a lot (or any other library for that matter) , and love to leave your shit unattended, try investing in a computer locking device, one of those cables that attaches to the desk or chair, such that when someone tries to steal your laptop, they'll be dragging a chair or desk along with him/her. If you don't believe this is true enough, I've had a frieken textbook stolen from me. Only in Columbia you would find people stealing textbooks (probably for open book finals or something).

    A hair dryer perhaps? Why waste money buying one from Columbia Housewares when you can easily bring one from home.

    If I think of something else, I'll post it.

  6. Anonymous  

    PRINTER
    it will save your life when you finish that term paper at 9am and need to hand it in by 9:10

    • Although

      you can just send a document from your laptop to a printer in some random dorm near you- I send my shize to Carman, which is good for meeting/taking advantage of naive Freshmen- and run down to print, too! http://www.columbia.edu/acis/facilities/printers/setup.html

      • But

        you're screwed if some dance group attempts to print 100 copies of a white text on a black background flyer -- because on the fifth copy the printer will jam into a big paper mache mess that will end in 30 minutes worth of disassembling the printer, getting toner ink everywhere, and searching and destroying for ALL, and I mean ALL, the little minuscule shreds of stupid crappy paper.
        And once it's all fixed, the final insult, waiting 5 minutes for it to reset.
        Bonus insult: the printer sputters out the last remaining copy of that stupid fuckin' flyer.

      • While....

        there are a myriad of printers generously dispersed throughout campus, they tend to break down...frequently.. And it sucks when there's some asshole in front of you printing 100 pages worth of material, when all you have to print is a couple of pages. Bring a printer if you are truly lazy, or if you have like a minute left until a paper is due, which yea, pretty much makes you lazy, or more generally if you have at least one asshole in your hall who likes to print more than 20 pages multiple times.

  7. Anonymous

    I use a robe, and I know multiple other people who do so as well. Girls look sexy in them, and guys look classy.

  8. additional

    definitely bring a room lamp of some sort, the overhead lighting in every dorm is way too harsh. it makes your room feel like an interrogation chamber or an operating room.

    if you're in carman (as i was), a useful, though not essential, item is a magazine rack for the bathroom, keeping reading material on hand for some well-deserved downtime.

    an all-purpose dishrag is extremely handy.

    an all-purpose cleaning fluid of some sort; you'll need something to make a half-ass attempt at cleaning the puke out of your rug.

    lighters, bottle-openers, ashtrays - really minor things but somehow people never have them. you'll avoid making your room nasty if you keep these on hand and also look just a wee bit classier.

    last, but most certainly not least, a ludicrously overpriced handle from international. preferably scotch.

  9. hah

    "You may have checked “neat” on the roommate preference form but remember that the slobs did, too."

    The absolute worst are the slobs who deliberately do this in the hopes of being paired with a neat freak who'll clean up after them. I had this misfortune., and I know this because he told me.

    Re: Staplers: Invest in a high quality Swingline. I prefer the 747 Classic. Sure, it looks like it belongs on your fathers office desk ca. 1983. Probably because he had one exactly like it in 1983. And still has it now. You'll never buy another stapler in your life. As a further note, I've lost a lot of things. But none have filled me with more anguish or rage when someone swiped my Swingline. :(

  10. Anonymous  

    Only barbarians don't iron.

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