Sep

8

Dear Bwog: Cruisin’ for a Crew Edition

Written by

Duh

Dear Bwog,

I don’t mean to sound obnoxious, but people here aren’t as cultured as I expected. No one shares my music taste or gets my quirky brand of humor. It’s not that I’m so sophisticated or anything; there’s just some basic knowledge I assumed people had.

I guess I just haven’t met people on my wavelength. Classes already started, and I still haven’t found my crew.

~Crewzing

Dear Crewzing,

There’s no need so shocked when someone hasn’t heard of that semi-obscure band you worship. The patronizing question, “You really haven’t heard of Prezbo and the Deans*?” makes people feel uncomfortable–especially when combined with the toxic eyebrow raise. Of course, displays of superiority aren’t limited to music. If you dumped out the contents of 2014’s brains, you could reassemble and compile a comprehensive encyclopedia. In other words, Fourteen-ers, you know your shit. Kudos, but Columbia’s contained campus doesn’t have a lot of space for people mounted on high horses. That nice guy from the Great Plains may not be familiar with some Dadaist art exhibit downtown, but he definitely knows a few things you don’t. And don’t be so surprised when that soft-spoken preppy girl down the hall actually has fantastic music taste. Friends come in all shapes, sizes and styles.

Now that that’s out of our system, let’s talk timelines. Your buddies during the first week of college won’t necessarily be your go-to-crew for the next four years. Sometimes, months pass before you meet people you feel like you really mesh with. And that’s totally fine. There are 7,169 undergraduates here. You’ll find someone.

Obviously people are drawn to Columbia for its academic opportunities, but you have a solid five weeks before you even need to think about midterms. Soak up the sweet sun of September and put off problem sets for parties. Marvel at your classmates; you may end up marrying one of them. But actually. If all else fails, you live in the greatest city in the world.

Much Love,
Bwog

* Bwog’s dream band name. It’s like Diana Ross and the Supremes, but not.  Plus, Diana and Prezbo both have great hair.

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8 Comments

  1. More like  

    Cruisin for a bruisin. This is why we need to bring back the BA.

  2. Anonymous

    They’re 7,169 undergraduates here.

    There. Are.

  3. What?  

    What? You mean the self congratulating circle-jerk of preening and primping faux-intellectualism isn't cultured enough for you?

    • what?

      as if writing an ironically self congratulating bwog post makes you, a melon pumping whacker who happens to go to this school, any better? fuck off chav...

      the shittiest thing about this school is how people always auto-think themselves to be superior, and then totally anti-snob it all over everyone else's faces.

      well, this is the ivy league, and to expect anything less than ego-dumping self flagellation is to expect you are a visitor from a state school. just face it. we are all bloody fuckabouts and so why don't you bring your anti-anti-faux-intellectualism to Reed College or some other place about which people could care less.

  4. I can't believe you didn't know that  

    Prezbo is both the lead vocalist and drummer of Prezbo and the Deans. I bet you thought he played guitar or something...psh

  5. Anonymous

    Actually, I've been here for 4 years and still haven't found anyone with my taste in music. It's okay, I made friends anyway.

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