It’s listening time, kids. The Blue & White bestows more gems of wisdom:

• So you’ve arrived on campus, and you’re eager to find that work-study job that pays ten dollars an hour to sit on your derriere and do homework. Well, oh most Francophilic freshman, the B&W has some advice for you: avoid the Butler Reserves. It might look like a desk job, but you’ll soon find yourself leaving the desk, trudging through the labyrinthine shelves for some patron whom you desperately want to patronize. Instead of Butler, the B&W suggests you try finding employment at the Physics library. Do you know where the Physics library is? Do your fellow freshmen? Exactly. [Ed note: The Physics Library is now closed, but the Geology and Music Libraries also do the trick].
• Remember that you’re the smartest student in your Literature Humanities section. If, however, some insidious usurper poses a threat to your status, casually remind your professor of where the real brains are by citing only sources in Church Slavonic penned by scholars with names like Dionysius the Pseudo-Areopagite.