What people did in olden times

The Eye attempts to answer a stock CU question: why doesn’t Columbia have any good traditions? (The Eye)

Columbia Housing makes big plans to join the modern age and make all dorms wireless by fall 2012. (Spec)

With the looming nation-wide ban on Four Loko, people are “sacrificing” themselves for the greater good and testing the drink in the name of science. Assemblyman Felix Ortiz and NYC Filmmaker K. Ryan Jones drink as much as they can and document their Four Loko-filled deterioration. Others have joined the mad rush to stock up. (HuffPo)

Who needs crazy caffeinated alcohol when they can have caffeinated caffeine? A coffee shop in Brooklyn sells cups of 10 espresso shots. That’s 20 ounces, a.k.a “coffee porn in a cup.” (NYDaily)

Patti Smith just won the National Book Award for non-fiction for her book “Just Kids,” a memoir of her life in New York’s 1960s and ’70s. (NYTimes)

The MTA confirms that its older-than-time subway system is getting slower and breaking down more often. Shocker. (Gothamist)

In preparation for tonight, watch Potter and co. attempt to speak American. How cute. (Gawker)

Image via Flickr