Dec

16

Lit Hum Limericks: There was once a final exam…

Written by

…for which not even the gods could cram.

Hark, freshpeople! Way back when, a few Bwoggers converted several thousands of pages of reading into limericks—the perfect size for you to memorize in between sips of Red Bull and Pepsi Max. Read on for anapests aplenty!

Homer, The Iliad
Achilles, the raging Achaean,
Agamemnon’s war plans was derailin’.
For the city of Troy,
And for Helen, a ploy
With a horse was the Greek soldiers’ way in.

[Editor’s Note: Actually, the Trojan Horse doesn’t appear in detail until The Aeneid next semester, but The Odyssey briefly mentions the Greek’s crafty gift.]

Homer, The Odyssey
After Troy, brave Odysseus wandered,
Adventured and tarried and pondered,
Saw Calypso and Cyclops
‘Pon Ionian outcrops,
Thence home ere Pen’s honor was squandered!

Herodotus, The Histories
Father of history, Herodotus
Wrote of wars, and lies and lust:
“Gyges ruled,
Scythians were cruel,
But remembering human achievement’s a must.”

Euripides, Medea
Jason was not a good guy.
To Medea he had said goodbye.
So you know what she did?
She killed all her kids
And then she flew off in the sky.

Aristophanes, Lysistrata
Of war all Greek women had tired,
So together they met and conspired.
They knew what men wanted,
So their husbands they taunted:
“For sex, complete peace is required.”

Plato, Symposium
Some hung-over Greeks had doubt
Over what love was all about
Was virtue correct?
Or trading wisdom for sex?
But “Forms!” was Socrates’ cop-out.

Old Testament (Two verses for the price of one!)
When God said “Let there be light,”
He showcased all of his might.
He plagued Pharaoh with flies,
Made the Red Sea dry
And then gave Job quite a fright

Job and job are capitonymic words
Like Polish and polish, or Herb and herb
And though this doesn’t have much to do
With the story of that unfortunate Jew
It does make the story a little absurd.

[Editor’s Note: Job wasn’t Jewish, but whatevs]

New Testament

So God was feeling frisky,
decided to be a bit risky.
Got in bed with Mary,
of course he did not tarry!
You know the rest of the story.

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16 Comments

  1. Anonymous  

    who wrote these? so good!

  2. Hymn to Demeter  

    Persephone was in the meadow
    When Zeus said to Hades 'Go get her"
    While she was below
    The seeds wouldn't grow
    She now spends half the year with Demeter

  3. crammin'crammin'crammin'  

    these are beauts--bonus points for poetic capitonymic usage.

  4. I see  

    Bwog is preparing for that environmental sciences exam by recycling content.

  5. Anonymous  

    Bwog sparksnotes made my day.

  6. English Major  

    Ummm... most of these scan really badly, bwog. Still funny though.

  7. Doesn't Get Poetry  

    These are the worst haikus ever.

  8. forms  

    weren't big until plato

  9. Dear Bwog  

    stop being so cc-centric

  10. limricking  

    got in bed with a virgin, when he got the urgin' fits better.

  11. Offended  

    by the New Testament limerick

  12. Ἀχιλλεύς

    ἄριστος Ἀχαιῶν εἰμί

  13. Anonymous  

    Job wasn't Jewish?

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