Dec

22

Timeless Doctrines: Bad Hair Edition

Written by

A tipster spotted this remarkably eloquent note in McBain, addressed, “To the wookie on floor 8.” Jeez.

I am posting this note as a gentle warning that your shower etiquette is sub-par. Few people actually enjoy communal living, and I think, given your behavior it’s not hard to imagin [sic] why I’m sure by now it has been made clear to you that no one is happy with going into the shower to discover your hair all over the walls, floor, and drain. Here, I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt because you are a Columbia student and could not possibly be that lazy or inconsiderate of others, and assume that you, too, have an aversion to your hair. While I can empathize, I maintain that it is your hair and, thus, your responsibility to clean. If you are unable to get yourself to clean it, here are some helpful suggestions that might fix the problem:

1) Get a brush, brush your hair before you shower.
2) Look into Locks of Love, shaved heads on women aren’t so bad and they’d appreciate your hair more than you seem to.
3) Stop using the showers.

If you don’t amend your behavior by next semester, I will let you know now that notes will not be the end of my efforts to get you to stop. Remember, I am a Columbia student as well, which should suggest to you how clever and creative I might be when pushed. If you’ve taken anything from CC, it cannot possibly be that one should treat others as they would like to be treated. I am prepared to teach you a value of that timeless doctrine.

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24 Comments

  1. Anonymous  

    I like the "bitches going crazy" tag.

  2. ...  

    that is a damn fine specimen of procrastinatorial exuberance right there.

  3. Anonymous

    This all you got bwog today? Meanwhile an alum of ours was busy signing some historic legislation hours ago

  4. here is something

    Today, the President's signature transformed VA care for America's veterans
    forever. The President put an end to the rationing
    of care for our country's veterans, even when Congress fails to deliver the VA
    budget on time. This is a historic investment in the future of veterans'
    health care that will benefit millions of American heroes. With this
    legislation, politics can no longer stand in the way of VA funding and VA
    Secretary Shinseki is more effectively set up for success.

  5. omg

    people need to chill out. this is a university blog, not the new york times.

    YOU GO BWOG.
    this is hilarious.

  6. only at columbia  

    would people complain a school blog is not covering national politics.

    have a great break, everyone!

  7. Anonymous

    Wow, this bitch is crazy and cruel. If I were the hairy person, I'd deposit more hair in the shower just to piss her off.

  8. that hair  

    is actually a huge pain in the ass if you happen to shower after the unknown wookie... but this note is definitely the best thing I've ever found in the bathroom

  9. tag quote

    I feel like every year every floor of every building as a \wookie.\ My freshman year it was a redhead. She was the only one on JJ 12 but still denied it was hers... Oh the hypocrisy!

  10. Anonymous

    This is actually great...

  11. You have no idea

    how gross girls can be. Living in buildings with communal bathrooms as a girl is an absolute nightmare. Hair is nothing, friends. I've seen some horrors that are beyond words.

    Also this one time somebody left befouled, soaking underwear hanging from the shower bar in a bathroom in Wien. Seriously as female I was forced to wonder how someone could have behavioral patterns so absolutely puke-worthy.

    • ..

      SERIOUSLY. last year on mcbain 7 some mystery girl would wipe her shaved pubes off on the sides of the shower. it was actually the most disgusting thing i've ever seen and couldn't believe that a girl could be so gross.

      i've definitely seen the gross dirty underwear and random food/tea bags in the women's shower. gross.

  12. Seriously, as (a) female...  

    The myth that girls are cleaner than guys is just that, a myth. At any rate, I also applaud the procrastination.

  13. that is the most

    passively aggressive, douche-hattiest, sophomoric (CC. really?) note.

    get the hair and glue it to her door. make a wreath. that's getting real and to the point.

  14. Chewbacca

    RAAAAAAAAAAUGHHHHHHH!

  15. Han Solo

    I agree, Chewy. You have every right to be offended.

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