Timeless Doctrines: Bad Hair Edition
Written by Bwog Staff
A tipster spotted this remarkably eloquent note in McBain, addressed, “To the wookie on floor 8.” Jeez.
I am posting this note as a gentle warning that your shower etiquette is sub-par. Few people actually enjoy communal living, and I think, given your behavior it’s not hard to imagin [sic] why I’m sure by now it has been made clear to you that no one is happy with going into the shower to discover your hair all over the walls, floor, and drain. Here, I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt because you are a Columbia student and could not possibly be that lazy or inconsiderate of others, and assume that you, too, have an aversion to your hair. While I can empathize, I maintain that it is your hair and, thus, your responsibility to clean. If you are unable to get yourself to clean it, here are some helpful suggestions that might fix the problem:
1) Get a brush, brush your hair before you shower.
2) Look into Locks of Love, shaved heads on women aren’t so bad and they’d appreciate your hair more than you seem to.
3) Stop using the showers.
If you don’t amend your behavior by next semester, I will let you know now that notes will not be the end of my efforts to get you to stop. Remember, I am a Columbia student as well, which should suggest to you how clever and creative I might be when pushed. If you’ve taken anything from CC, it cannot possibly be that one should treat others as they would like to be treated. I am prepared to teach you a value of that timeless doctrine.