Resolved: Life

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There’s something comforting about having identical resolutions every single year. In the spirit of futility/solidarity/peace and blessings, Bwog staff presents its collective resolutions for the new year. Add your own in the comments. Happy 2011!!!

Food & Drink

  • Drink more water, fewer caffeinated beverages
  • Learn to drink hard alcohol again
  • Stop eating cereal out of the box and actually pour a bowl – with milk and a spoon!
  • Use at least half of the 150 meals Barnard makes me buy
  • Learn to like eating fish
  • Learn how to make a Tofucken to prepare for the next Thanksgiving
  • Diversify my food choices (read: eat less Milano)
  • Eat more tomatoes
  • Eat better
  • Eat more fruit so that my hands don’t turn green like that one time freshman year
  • Cook more
  • Learn to be a better cook
  • Learn to cook a few things well
  • Understand every single spice in my spice rack
  • Learn to cook meat
  • Learn to flip an omelette
  • Make dinner for people
  • Cook for my family and friends ever now and then
  • Finally fill out my HamDel “VIP Gold Punchcard” and get a free sub

Health & Sanitation

  • Break in the sneakers I bought one year ago and have yet to wear
  • Run with a buddy
  • Become one of those people who “need” to run everyday
  • Become an athlete, or at least go to the gym
  • Work out more, get my bod back
  • Join some sort of club sport to get my fitness back
  • Learn how to do a headstand
  • See if it is physically possible for me to tan
  • Brush my teeth and wash my face before going to bed after coming in from a night out
  • Choose tea over double shot lattes, stairs over elevator, and fruit over fries
  • Go to bed when I’m tired


  • Make my bed every day
  • Mend clothes by hand
  • Learn grace
  • Stop tripping over my own feet all the time
  • Stop being such a dorky dancer
  • Immediately fold my clothes after taking them out of the dryer so they don’t get wrinkle
  • Make my bed and brush my hair every morning
  • Wear less spandex


  • Dig up some school pride
  • Buy something from the Barnard store
  • Don’t judge
  • Enjoy outdoor activities/stop judging people who enjoy outdoor activities
  • Make more of an effort to stress religious observance in or at least reconcile it with with college life
  • Actually save money when I make it, instead of eating at Milano
  • Thoroughly understand how the American government works


  • Go on more adventures
  • Get drunk and go on adventures
  • Break down structure
  • Stop planning so much
  • Take advantage of CUarts benefits and go ‘splorin
  • Leave Morningside Heights more often
  • Go to a play, any play!
  • See every play for the rest of St Ann’s Warehouse’s season
  • Get swipe access to the Barnard tunnels
  • Go to Flushing Chinatown
  • Locate the source of my room’s funky odor
  • Learn to drive
  • OH MY GOD yes learn to drive. If I can legally drink before I can legally drive… well, that’s just silly


  • Say yes more often
  • Fill my iTunes library with more positive music
  • Smile more
  • Laugh more
  • Stress less
  • More positive attitude generally get my life in order

Conquering Fears

  • Stop running away from insects
  • Go to office hours. I have all these brilliant profs who’ve set aside time to talk to students like me.
  • Corollary resolution: stop being such a wuss.
  • Learn how to not do anything and be OK with it
  • Stop being afraid of the phone/wean myself off Gmail-dependence

We Live Our Lives on the Internet/Smartphones

  • Explore the internet better
  • Have a 100% reply rate on emails.
  • Make more phone calls instead of texting all the time
  • I like phone calls too- many more of those
  • Def use the phone!
  • The ability to complete a task on the computer without digressing to youtube/facebook/gmail
  • Back up
  • Learn how to use my Droid

School & Work

  • Accept the fact that I will never get any work done in my room
  • No more unproductive late nights
  • Actually pay attention in Spanish class/learn more than just the words to Shakira songs
  • Go to at least half of my French classes
  • Practice speaking French more
  • Stop starting large papers 24 hours before they are due
  • Actually finish long-term projects rather than letting them sit and fester
  • Remember that more time spent working during the week means more time partying on the weekend
  • Convince a senior in high school I like to apply to Columbia
  • Lie to a visiting senior in high school about some aspect of Columbia life
  • Study on a park bench and imagine it’s a movie montage
  • Go to more on-campus lectures
  • Find some balance between classes and things I like
  • Get a job and/or internship this summer that actually pays a livable wage


  • Read for pleasure
  • Go to a relaxed, somewhat unfamiliar bar alone and see what kind of people I meet (be Alex Muhler)
  • Go to the movies more
  • Write for fun more often
  • Read for pleasure during the semester
  • Finally finish reading Infinite Jest


  • Take more pictures
  • Take lots of pictures of friends and family
  • Be less afraid to ask people if I can take their picture
  • Not want to turn everything into a photo op for a Facebook album

Make Friends

  • Talk to PrezBo, just once,
  • Make friends with Anna (the Heights bouncer obvs)
  • Actually make plans with those people you casually run into and say you’ll get lunch with
  • Go to 1020 sometimes
  • Try to make friends with my professors
  • Becomes bffs with a professor


  • Tip Bwog
  • Write a bajillion things for Bwog (as should you all!)
  • Stop spending so much time obsessively making lists of what I should do and just do it

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  1. obvi

    ...and sell less drugs

  2. LOL

    Currently reading Infinite Jest for the second time. Booyah.

  3. Word

    Four Loko ruined hard alcohol for me.

  4. wearing

    spandex less, should be the resolution of the entire women's rowing team.

  5. Anonymous

    Re: real booze-- do or do not. There is no "learn."

  6. Anonymous


  7. Anonymous

    if you are afraid of hard alcohol, you need to try a jack and coke. Shit is delicious, and very potent.

  8. Anonymous

    I get shit done in my room. Library is for amateurs.

  9. Anonymous

    Under the resolution to "Understand every single spice in my spice rack," you should add a resolution to "Buy a spice rack." Just a thought.

  10. \m/

    RE: Optimism,
    More positive music?


  11. Anonymous

    I got very confused by "learn grace."
    I thought you meant grace like, you know, "Come Lord Jesus be our guest..." And I thought, is it that hard to look up some wikipedia article on different ways to thank God for your food? Is that really resolution-worthy to *learn* grace? Wouldn't a resolution be more like, saying grace regularly? But what sort of bwogger would opt to be so devout?
    And I spent all sorts of time wondering why grace was under "deportment" while buying something from the Barnard store was under "morality," and maybe you were making some sort of social commentary there.

    Then I realized you meant ballerina type grace.


    but hey, can a bwog resolution be more "Bwog Sex" ???
    pretty please...

  13. Mozzarella stickler

    *wrinkle--> wrinkled

  14. lolz

    "Learn to drink hard alcohol again"
    There are so many things wrong with this--it makes me weep for the future of college students all over America.

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