Dear Professors,
We hear you. Sometimes we under-hear you (read: 9 a.m. class), but when we’re very lucky, we overhear you! And not just while you’re weighing in on important international issues; we also hear those cavalier comments you improvise in lecture. And since we like what we’ve heard lately so much, we thought we’d share:
- Shamus Khan, while talking about how sports and games allow for the expression of rivalries in society without violence and fighting: “You’re not about to go do a physical, hostile takeover of Harvard. Although if you do, I will lead you.”
- Alan Brinkley, in response to question about the interstate highway act: “Destroying communities is something I know a lot about, being Provost for seven years.”
- Ruben Gonzalez, giving a metaphor for chemical equilibrium: “Has anybody been to that new Joe Coffee shop? It’s sort of like an equilibrium situation—there’re always 100 people in line, but it is a dynamic, changing 100 people.”
- Lucius Riccio, prefacing an Operations Research lecture: “Today we are going to talk about forecasting. It is the fine use of divination, like Professor Trelawney’s class, in order to predict the future.”
- John Collins, in a metaphysics class: “In classical epistemology, it is assumed that every actor has unlimited access to his own internal thoughts, but in Jewish epistemology, your mother has access to your own internal thoughts.”
14 Comments
@lawlz Richard Pious in Environmental Politics on a paper due tonight: “If you’re going to buy a paper, buy it from me; I run this thing called Faculty Research Assistance for Undergraduate Delivery. Also known as FRAUD.”
@One more for you Prof. Juan Pablo Jiménez-Caicedo, in a Spanish class: “In English, you have food, but in Spanish, we eat it.”
@Trust me Brinkley was dead serious. The man had a heart of ice as provost.
@Late Modernism Prof. Matthew Hart, discussing a sameness between different generations in contemporary culture (as opposed to generational difference in Woolf’s “Between the Acts”): “Like 50-year-olds wearing Juicy Couture. You should not be able to have writing on your butt past a certain age. That age is 12.”
@Anonymous i love how the professor named lucius made the HP reference.
@art hum Megan McCarthy, in response to a student’s comment that Joseph seems to be preventing other suitors from reaching Mary: “There is a colloquial term for that, but I won’t repeat it in class.” [hint: it rhymes with clock]
@Anonymous brinkley is such a dark horse of hilarity.
@Anonymous bwog. I love this. opening/closing remarks are always some of my favorite posts, please keep it up during the semester!
@matthew hayto, columbia engineering 2011… so hot right now
@:) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CV_hDyfmEw4
@Shamus Khan is a god. Can’t wait to take a class with him.
@anon i take the social world with him, and while it’s not like he has golden zingers every lecture, he can be pretty funny. wonderful prof.
@yeah but also just a brilliant guy.
@Anonymouse This website is dedicated to all things shamus khan:
http://web.mac.com/shamuskhan/iWeb/Site/Home.html
seriously, thats he starts it