Eulogy for a Beverage Dispenser
Written by Bwog Staff
Victoria Wills remembers the momentary flash of glory that was the Nescafé machine in John Jay.
On April 7th, 2011, John Jay brought hope into our lives. Around noontime on that fateful day, three enthusiastic employees negotiated the crowds, pushed existing coffee machines aside, and lifted a shiny red Nestlé Nescafé machine onto the counter. Glimmering in its visual and technological superiority, this new coffee beverage machine’s options glittered enticingly.
As the week stretched on and the machine remained out of commission, it remained on our minds: Would the americano finally satisfy our daily caffeine needs? Would the hot cocoa cheer us up on the dreary study days to come? Would the french vanilla cappuccinos use real milk?
Building our lives on the shimmering promise of the red Nescafé machine, we envisioned a a new future for ourselves; a future where, fueled by tasty hazelnut cappuccinos, we finish our work by dinner time Sunday, then return to John Jay for a leisurely meal and a mochaccino with friends; a future where we don’t spend exorbitant amounts of money at Joe for our midday caffeine fix; a future where we find profound gastronomic and spiritual satisfaction in the unlimited cups of frothy goodness available to us for just a meal swipe. In short, the Nescafé machine would shape us into the people we had always wanted to be.
On April 13th, 2011, the Nescafé machine dispensed its liquid goodness to those fortunate enough to attend the John Jay Food Exposition. On April 16th, 2011, the machine was unceremoniously wrenched from our lives. The desolate chasm left between the cream dispenser and the vastly inferior cappuccino machine represents the emptiness left in our hearts. Our questions remain unanswered; our visions of a better life fade; our study habits continue to deteriorate.
Nescafé coffee machine, you left as suddenly as you came. We will rue your absence forevermore.
Tags: it looked like a jukebox, props stolen from the set of some movie with shiny weird machines, there are tiny elves inside that make your coffee, things that used to be in john jay, things we just noticed but are still funny