Senior Wisdom: Ian Kwok
Written by Bwog Staff
Seniors we shall miss you! At least their wisdom will be enshrined on Bwog.
Name, School: Ian Kwok, CC 2011
Claim to fame: I’m that guy who shows up to every free food event no matter how little I know about the event/organization. (So yes, I’m a moocher, but it’s better than letting good food go to waste, eh?) Anyways, my food budget over the last year averaged to about $2 a day. I also maintained @thefreedomblog for a while, and I’m helping with a new start-up: UpOut.com (check it out!)
Where are you going? I’ve always wanted to try to catch a giant squid in the Atlantic Ocean. Unfortunately, I already used up my master ball, so it’s going to be tough. In the meantime, I’m going to keep scavenging around New York City, looking under shrubs for hidden items.
Three things I’ve learned at Columbia:
1. Postcrypt is the coolest place on campus. I’m really biased, of course, but seriously, check it out. Free wine and amazing art and music.
2. It took me two years to realize that you can watch the little lever go down to indicate that a train is approaching. Of course, the MTA finally installed digital signs, which are total spoilers.
3. The facility and public safety people who work here are really cool, friendly people. Next time you’re swiping in or getting your washroom cleaned, start up a conversation with one of them. You won’t regret it!
“Back in my day…”Dinosaurs roamed the earth freely, without hatred or Bill Murray references. But then again, Bill Murray references are hilarious, so maybe the modern world is alright after all. Also, the Beatles will never stop rocking.
Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I’m a hyper-fast walker. And I’m Canadian. Go Leafs Go.
Is the War on Fun over? Who won? Any war stories? The War on Fun rages on, but hope remains. A lot of it comes down to simple communication breakdowns (they drive me insane!). When I was president of Postcrypt Art Gallery, we got banned from our home in St. Paul’s Chapel for a few months because the Man thought we were recklessly damaging the historic building. It’s always a compromise, but eventually we worked it out, and now the future of Postcrypt looks better than ever. And as much as parties get busted, the actual penalties for students are pretty lax. My wonderful friends (MG, GT, JC, KH, RS, MJ <-not that kind, silly!, HA, AW, AR, AM, et al.) and I have thrown a bunch of punny parties that I’m quite proud of, and I’ve only been written up once. Party on, comrades!
Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? I’m not gonna lie, I eat a lot more cheese than I get oral sex. I’m a pretty practical guy, so I’m sticking with the cheese. If anything, I think this question opens up an exciting world of sexual possibilities involving cheese fetishes.
Advice for the Class of 2015:
Columbia is a university where it’s really up to you to make what you want of it. So have some fun with it! Sure, grades are important, but in the end, that last 2% isn’t going to change how successful you’ll be in the long run. I mean, studies show that it’s just as important to be good-looking, so if success is what’s important to you, why not switch some of that tuition money over to get some quality plastic surgery?
Anyways, I kid, but seriously, enjoy yourself! Seriously enjoy yourself. Enjoy your serious self. You’ve got the rest of your lives to worry about your career. As a pre-med, I can assure you that you can have fun and still get into a good med school (I’ve only been to Butler a handful of times, and usually to rent a movie or play Sardines). And if you feel like you’ve got too much on your plate, just give some to me. I’ll take your leftovers, any day. So take it easy, eh? All you need is love!
Any regrets? I regret not meeting every single one of you! There are some truly amazing people here, and really I hope that I’ll be able to meet more of you as alumni. Peace and love, Columbia! =)
Know someone wise? Submit your nominees’ UNIs and a few good tales to [email protected].