Senior Wisdom: Nicholas Sanz-Gould
Written by Bwog Staff
Another senior bestows his fleshy wisdom.
Name, School: Nicholas Sanz-Gould, CC
Claim to fame: I’m co-president of Chowdah Sketch Comedy, sometimes I have poems published in Quarto and New Poetry, I kinda have a thing for gold shoes, and maybe you listened to my radio show with Peter Licursi. (It was called Boy Polloi.) Also, I’m sort of a porn journalist.
Where are you going? I’m living in New York and working full-time for Fleshbot. I hope my parents are ok with that.
Three things you learned at Columbia:
1. It’s really hard to make the people at Health Services laugh.
2. Filled-up Gold Cards from Hamilton Deli make excellent gifts.
3. My head is shaped too weirdly to fit in a graduation cap.
“Back in my day…”I thought big kids were supposed to go around the city eating souvlaki Hey Arnold-style but it turns out there is way more stressing and sitting around. Also, Cafe East used to have tasty noodle soup and I miss it dearly.
Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I bought a few bottles of Coke for one of my security guards, and one day he surprised me with a George Clinton CD. Now we’re BFFLs.
Is the War on Fun over? Who won? Any war stories? I always thought the War on Fun made Fun more fun. Freshman year Carman parties were across the hall from the RA’s suite, and it was the threat of getting busted that made us invite a lot of people and share the booze. Then again, I later found out that one of my floormates had been dating the RA the whole year. Sadly, I don’t think we ever thanked her for that.
Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? I feel like wine and cheese is a played-out combination.
Advice for the class of 2015:
-Take any class having to do with linguistics or Jacques Lacan. That stuff is helpful/trippy in relation to everything.
-Go to Chinatown. It’s kind of a long journey, but you can get hella groceries for cheap, stocking your kitchen with produce, fresh noodles, dumplings, and at least five different sauces. Having a wok is handy, too.
-The owl is next to her knees in a little recess made by the folds of her robe. I just found this out last week.
-Do not work for the Alumni Calling Center. They pay you well, everyone is really nice, and it’s not that difficult, but gosh darnit there is something about the job that leaves you feeling soulless.
Any regrets? I never left town for any Spring Break. 11 year-old Nicholas used to watch a lot of MTV’s Spring Break Cancun, so he would be pretty disappointed in me.
Also, I slightly regret admitting that thing about the porn. It’s a good job though! And what else is a creative writing major going to do?
Know someone wise? Submit your nominees’ UNIs and a few good tales to [email protected].