Senior Wisdom: Mary Martha Douglas
Written by Bwog Staff
Claim to fame: Freshman RA – never moved out of first-year dorms! Co-Chair of the URC – sorry if I’ve ever pissed you off by walking by with a huge tour. Senior Fund – thank you to all who donated! And the girl who somehow got into a few issues of Vogue.
Where are you going? Nowhere (yet). Next year I’ll be here, finishing my MA in Poli Sci and working at a political strategy firm downtown before heading to DC and really starting life.
Three things you learned at Columbia:
1. Surround yourself with people who make you smile. They’re the only ones who truly matter, and life is too short for drama. (I can’t believe how long it took me to learn that.)
2. “The difference between try and triumph is a little umph”
3. “Lewis and Clark were lost most of the time. If your idea of exploration is to always know where you are and to be inside your zone of competence, you don’t do wild new shit.”
“Back in my day…” Columbia was easier to get into. The subway cost two bucks. JJ had classy trays. We had to walk uphill both ways, but no one made you choose between brie and blow jobs.
Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I’ll smile when I see you on campus, bake you cupcakes when you’re stressed, buy shots for the bar when drunk, and can teach you all the bad YouTube dances.
Is the War on Fun over? Who won? Any war stories? Sophomore year I was the RA “on duty” and thought I smelled smoke. I always get really nervous and feel soooo guilty if I have to bust someone, and didn’t know where it was coming from. I didn’t want to get the wrong room, so I put my nose to the door…tripped and landed on all fours in the middle of a party. I was so mortified that instead of doing my “job”, I frantically apologized, told them to have a good night, sprinted away and fell down the stairs – breaking two fingers.
Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Depends. Am I dating this guy?
Advice for the class of 2015: Never be afraid to ask for help, or admit when you’re in over your head. Whether it’s from an advisor, an RA, a professor or a friend. It’s never a sign of weakness or immaturity. In fact, it’s the opposite. Also, take risks, get confused and try something you may not necessarily be good at. That’s what college is for.
Any regrets? TONS. But I’ve learned not to dwell on them.