Name, school: Sean Udell, Columbia College

Claim to fame: I’ve had the privilege of leading the only two student groups that are allowed to store alcohol in the Lerner Party Space refrigerators. Dumping perfectly good beer and wine down the drain is just too damn sad.

Where are you going? Denver, CO, where I’ll be a special educator at West Denver Prep Charter via Teach For America

Three things you learned at Columbia:

1. Everything in life is either a social construct or heteronormative. Or both.

2. The “vast right-wing conspiracy” exists and takes no prisoners, and the New York Post is the likely base camp of said conspiracy.

3. Being skeptical and having a happy demeanor are not mutually exclusive.

“Back in my day…” Bwog was delightfully ruthless and, as a result, interesting.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: Four Teas on Fore Tee

Is the War on Fun over? Who won? Any war stories? See above. Twenty Eleven, without a doubt, won. <3 CU 2011.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Cheese.

Advice for the class of 2015: No matter what “it” is, IT will always get done. Remind yourself of that often, and go have fun.

Any regrets? Of course!