May

16

Senior Wisdom: Jordan Katz

Written by

Name, school: Jordan Katz, Columbia College

Claim to Fame: Editor-in-Chief of the Columbia Undergraduate Journal of History, former President of Yavneh, Undergraduate History Council Member, New Orleans Saints enthusiast and all-around history nerd

Where are you going? I have absolutely no idea. Anyone want to hire me?

Three things you learned at Columbia:

Warm, sunny days are few and far between, and they should be used wisely.

People who like to talk endlessly about how everything is socially constructed generally love hearing the sound of their own voices.

Robert, who often works as the guard in EC and sometimes in Butler, is one of the nicest people that I have ever met.

“Back in my day…” Uris didn’t take dining dollars, the Diana was called the Vag, and the acceptance rate was above 7%.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I survived Hurricane Katrina and then got to see the Saints win the Superbowl five years later. Not bad, not bad.

Is the War on Fun over? Who won? Any war stories? Oh, the War on Fun is still going. Placing caution tape across Low Steps to prevent people from sledding down during a snowstorm definitely constitutes an effort on the part of the Columbia administration to ban all fun things from this campus. Anyone who has seen this video knows that the War on Fun lives on. See especially 8:15, “clear away from the snowball.”

Also, only two glasses of wine at senior dinner?

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Let me list you the staple foods of my diet: pizza, cheese grits (I’m a southern gal!), bagel with cream cheese, orzo with feta cheese. Now you be the judge.

Advice for the class of 2015:

If you take the subway down to the Upper West Side, take the M104 back up Broadway and it will count as a transfer. I learned that advice from senior wisdom and it has saved me a ton of money!

There’s a corner outside of Butler near the lawn with shade and an outlet. If you need to write a paper and it’s nice outside, there’s no excuse not to sit there.

Also, Brownie’s Café is the best kept secret on campus, and the people who work there are awesome. I spent many an hour there writing papers.

Any regrets? Never participating in Holi. And not doing more of some things and getting involved in certain groups earlier.

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25 Comments

  1. Jordan  

    is such a committed, hard working, and awesome friend. Columbia, get ready for a rocking alum!

  2. boh  

    Dear Class of 2011,

    Walk through the 116st gates looking up at the banner and ask yourself: are the two 1's in 2011 the same color? i think not! can't graduate!

  3. Thumbs up

    Good advice for 2015. Sort of wish I'd had #1 and #2 earlier.

  4. Anonymous

    Sounds like a sweet girl, but the Diana is still often called the Vag, and that video was posted by Brigid (who filmed it) in another senior wisdom...

    • Anonymous  

      Senior Wisdoms are due by a certain date (last Monday), so people don't know that others are going to post, link, or say the same things until they are already up and wisdoms have already been submitted.

  5. Anonymous  

    how many more SW does BWOG have?

  6. Sick Transit

    The subway/bus tip works in reverse, too, but you only have 2 hours in which to conduct your business downtown.

  7. Robert  

    Is an amazing man! Glad to hear a shout out.

  8. Was this designed to sound generic?

    And not doing more of some things and getting involved in certain groups earlier.

  9. Anonymous  

    Jordan is awesome!!!

  10. rising junior

    "If you take the subway down to the Upper West Side, take the M104 back up Broadway and it will count as a transfer. I learned that advice from senior wisdom and it has saved me a ton of money"

    What is this?! I don't understand...

  11. THE MORE IMPORTANT QUESTION IS...

    HAS SHE EVER FUCKED AN ASI---- NAWWW I'M PLAYIN. JUST KICKIN YA KNOCKERS. JUST TEASIN'. JUST BENDIN YA BREAKS THERE YUN LADY.

  12. another southern senior  

    cheese grits ftw

  13. The Diana  

    is mostly called that now, unfortunately. Ask a freshman and they won't know what the vag is. Such a shame, and such a great answer to 'back in my day'!

  14. CUJH?

    I'm sorry, but where exactly is this journal? Seems hard to edit something that doesn't exist...

  15. paul weinfield  

    loves jordan. and so do i, because it was in his hairy-chested, deep-v wearing CC class that i met such a wonderful friend.

  16. your neighbors

    just so u know we made noise on purpose b/c we thought it was hot when u yelled at us

  17. Drew Brees

    Jordan = lifesaver. If it wasn't for her gold leggings, no way Tracy Porter intercepts that pass. Also, she can scare the shit out of me way faster than any defensive alignment. True fact.

  18. Anonymous  

    yall need to do a senior wisdom from stephen blair

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