Name, school: Jordan Katz, Columbia College

Claim to Fame: Editor-in-Chief of the Columbia Undergraduate Journal of History, former President of Yavneh, Undergraduate History Council Member, New Orleans Saints enthusiast and all-around history nerd

Where are you going? I have absolutely no idea. Anyone want to hire me?

Three things you learned at Columbia:

Warm, sunny days are few and far between, and they should be used wisely.

People who like to talk endlessly about how everything is socially constructed generally love hearing the sound of their own voices.

Robert, who often works as the guard in EC and sometimes in Butler, is one of the nicest people that I have ever met.

“Back in my day…” Uris didn’t take dining dollars, the Diana was called the Vag, and the acceptance rate was above 7%.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I survived Hurricane Katrina and then got to see the Saints win the Superbowl five years later. Not bad, not bad.

Is the War on Fun over? Who won? Any war stories? Oh, the War on Fun is still going. Placing caution tape across Low Steps to prevent people from sledding down during a snowstorm definitely constitutes an effort on the part of the Columbia administration to ban all fun things from this campus. Anyone who has seen this video knows that the War on Fun lives on. See especially 8:15, “clear away from the snowball.”

Also, only two glasses of wine at senior dinner?

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Let me list you the staple foods of my diet: pizza, cheese grits (I’m a southern gal!), bagel with cream cheese, orzo with feta cheese. Now you be the judge.

Advice for the class of 2015:

If you take the subway down to the Upper West Side, take the M104 back up Broadway and it will count as a transfer. I learned that advice from senior wisdom and it has saved me a ton of money!

There’s a corner outside of Butler near the lawn with shade and an outlet. If you need to write a paper and it’s nice outside, there’s no excuse not to sit there.

Also, Brownie’s Café is the best kept secret on campus, and the people who work there are awesome. I spent many an hour there writing papers.

Any regrets? Never participating in Holi. And not doing more of some things and getting involved in certain groups earlier.