Dec

8

You Deserve Closure

Written by

Your professors are free of you, now.

Tuesday-Thursday classes for Fall 2011 are done forever. They are in the past. Depending on what you study/believe, the past, and those classes, might not strictly exist anymore.

Passing over that—and any of the impending existential crises that tend to come a’ knockin’ late Thursday night—you should tell us the notable things your professors said to tie off the course. Submit via electronic mail to [email protected].

A piece of inspiration:

“And they’re still alive, the New Left! Hopefully they’ll all be dead soon.”

—TA, History of the World Since 1500

The fulfilling part of their lives via Wikimedia

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9 Comments

  1. Anonymous  

    "*silence*" - Christopher Peacocke, Music Hum.

    THANK GOD THAT CLASS IS OVER.

  2. Laura  

    "Are chihuahuas children of darkness?"

  3. Anonymous

    its really not cool that a TA is getting paid to wish for my death...what the fuck?

    • argle bargle  

      Why don't you cry about it, Nancy? Huh? Go ahead and ball your eyes out, you liberal pansy.

      You goddamned sissies make me puke. GET A JOB.

      • Anonymous

        why are you so angry? i get the sense that you are terrified of me. Which maybe makes sense. I want to destroy you from the inside out, but I'm no technologist. You got me there! The best I can do is turn around the mechanisms you've been forcing onto the world, direct them back towards you. Would you like living the way you dictate that everyone else must live? I want to invert your obsession with militarism so that you shoot yourself into obliteration, to make you suffer through the depths of poverty so that you starve into nothingness and sleep on the streets, shove copies of your resume down your throat with the same avidity you sent them to i banking summer internships until you vomit up your spleen all over the lines, "synergy" and "operations management ba". Baby I got a job. I'm working on you. I'm trying to make you not exist, which is heavy work indeed. especially since you own the board game, the dice, the little metal figurines. If you're vomiting, i am filled with joy. Only the first step in your self-destruction. But could you hold up a minute? I want to make popcorn for the show. I really want to enjoy it when I watch your empire of delusions go down in flames.

  4. ...  

    this semester is weird. it's over, it's not cold yet and there has been no end of semester applause for any of the professors...

  5. Anonymous  

    "If I give him a goat, he should make it rain." -Peter Bearman, The Social World

    It's better out of context.

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