It’s Over (Not Really)

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Here it is, the last day of classes of the semester. Fun, wasn’t it? We thought so too. As they are wont to do, your professors may end class with a delightful tale, some words of wisdom, or an awkward, abrupt silence. Or if you’re in SEAS, they’ll rush to finish that last example then tell you when the review session is.

Either way, we’d love to hear about some of the more memorable closing remarks. Send yours to [email protected] or post them in the comments below!

For inspiration:

“The key to holding on to power is kissing the ass of the people one level below you, brutalizing the people three levels below, and hoping the people in the middle don’t notice. See modern America.”

—Nathan Pilkington, Lit Hum

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  1. quote  

    From Andrew Delbanco, American Lit & Culture: Civil War --

    After a student asks him a question, he responds, "You tell me... All right I'll tell you."

    "I don't believe in research papers for undergraduates or graduates. It seems to me that you can only write one at least a few weeks after the class is over in reflection of everything you've learned. To devote the time necessary to write one during class seems like it'll detract from your engagement in class."

  2. Anonymous  

    from Elizabeth Bauer, Molecular & Cellular Neuroscience:

    "Since our final isn't in this room and we know that learning is state-dependent, go take an hour and study in 304 Barnard."

  3. dr.jkyllp  

    From Bruce Robbins, Modern Comparative Fiction:

    "You don't have to express yourself. People don't give a shit, they never have."

  4. Anonymous  

    Achille Varzi- Symbolic Logic.

    I think that I better stop here
    I’m sure that you have the idea
    Of what I propose
    To solve logic woes
    I thank you for lending your ear.

    He didn't write it but it was adorable regardless.

  5. Anonymous  

    review session? hahahahaha

  6. Anonymous  

    Elizabeth Esch, United States in the World:

    "Maybe we should all stand in a circle, hold hands, and sing John Lennon's Imagine."

  7. Anonymous

    Joseph Paul Martin, Human Trafficking:

    "If you want an A, you're going to have to have sex with me."

  8. Anonymous

    Randall Balmer in Evangelicalism:
    "Thank you so much for being interested and coming to this class. If you didn't, I'd have to teach something boring, like comparative religion or something."

  9. Isn't closing time  

    By Third Eye Blind

  10. Theories and Culture  

    His answer to why he chose to teach this class. "The department asks professors to teach this class. I taught it 7 years ago and it took them 7 years to ask me again. I don't think I'll be teaching it again for quite a while."

  11. Anonymous  

    Aaron Ritzenberg- University Writing

    When you see me on campus, don't just pull out your iPhone and pretend not to see me. It's more embarrassing for me if I don't remember you.

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