How to Actually Respond to an Air Raid Finals

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Update: The anonymous artist is Kyle Hom, SEAS ’14. Snaps, Kyle!

A rather crafty tipster submitted this piece of lovely Photoshop GIMP art today. It’s just the latest in a range of t-shirts, mugs, and cufflinks (we don’t get it either) inspired by a British Ministry of Information poster from the Second World War. Originally used to provide a false sense of security to English citizens when their homes could be leveled at any second, we’re glad to see the print remade into a much more educational version. We know, humanities majors, reading is hard too. Engineers, stop procrastinating!

If Columbia were England would PrezBo be our queen?

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  1. English major  

    I'd love to see an engineer try to write my research paper. I recognize that math and science are very hard, but I'm tired of science majors complaining that they have significantly more work than us. A problem set is finite, an essay is not.

  2. Math Major  

    I understand Engrish takes arot of work. But, your grade can go to shit when you take science class, so finar is very important. You can burrshit with Engrish. :D

  3. CC student  

    kyle you're awesome.

    @English major, a paper IS finite, it's called a page limit. And even if the professor did not set a limit, I find it very unlikely that you're trying to write an infinitely long research paper.

  4. Trevone  

    Do they teach science at Barnard?

  5. ...  

    "...and this is my receipt, for your receipt."

  6. Alexander Hamilton '76

    Guys, we changed our name from King's College for a reason.

  7. Anonymous  

    English/History Essays
    - large set of data, only need to know a portion well enough to write on

    "You didn't mention the effect of protectionist trade policies following the Panic of 1873 on the search for new markets and its effect on WWI." (Result: A-)

    Mathematics/Engineering/Economics Exams & Psets
    - large set of data, must know all of it

    "I see you forgot that Utility functions are unknown to all players. It's actually the property of monotonicity and equivalent utility maximization that allows you to set these Pij's equal to each other." (Result: 25% credit taken off)

    • Anonymous  

      Humanities at the college level reflect doctoral studies, which means you focus on one area to research and argue a point cogently while accounting for a few divergent arguments. Professors don't expect a student to refer to Samuel Slater when writing about WWI.

      Science and mathematics courses are introductions to basic material. Engineers and scientists need to know all the information that is covered, because they're all crucial to further work or research.

      Humanities majors have more preparation for their line of work graduating from high school. Do you understand English grammar? Do you understand how to construct a sentence? Do you understand how to construct an argument?

      More quantitative students need more preparation to be able to conduct research or work. Can HS seniors solve ODE's? Can they prove that the sample mean is an unbiased estimator of the population mean? Can HS seniors take functional derivatives?

      These processes form the basis of mathematical and scientific doctoral research.

  8. Subtext  

    I'm smarter than you! (Please love me).

  9. Anonymous  

    Science of being in the kitchen maybe

  10. Nilay  

    The hell is wrong with you people? Do what you enjoy and you'll be happy.

    Are you so insecure about your academic lives that you have to brag about how your field of study is more difficult than someone else's? You disgust me.

  11. Anonymous  

    Shit yeah engineering majors are hard. But you could argue that the true test of intelligence is choosing a major that doesn't require SEAS-level panic.

  12. kyle  

    Yes! I have successfully started a flame war! Cue immature chortles and giggles!

    The College's power levels? Discuss!


    Because yeah, I have absolutely nothing better to do than to post re-purposed memes for stressed out college kids to piss over each other about power levels. In no way whatsoever did I intend for this to happen, but I am completely satisfied at the outcome. Thank you.

  13. Anonymous  

    at least in a humanities course you have to get an A for an A grade. You can't just b.s. your way to a 70 on the final and get it curved to an A- (like in all science courses)

  14. Womp womp: SEAS is a bad engineering schoo  

    Too bad SEAS is easier to get into that CC... If you guys were so brilliant, you should have gone to a good engineering school.

    Also, and I'm sorry, but studying as an engineer in order to get a job doing Sales and Trading... seems like a waste of an engineering degree. You guys DO go to the professional school here, unlike us. The engineers who go to good engineering schools are actually busy using science in an applied way to solve real problems... and structuring a derivative doesn't qualify as a "real problem."

    • Anonymous

      you man like how you would never an MIT graduate going into finance?

    • Anonymous

      Wow, way to assume that all of SEAS wants to go into finance.
      Thanks for invalidating all of the 'real' engineering we do at SEAS, like you know, bringing finger prick 15 minute HIV tests to Africa or developing nanophotonic optical broadband switches...

    • That is why you are bad at numbers  

      SEAS is not easier to get into than CC. You probably got that idea from the 3% admission point difference which is so statistically insignificant. On the other hand, SEAS is the one bumping up the SAT score for the undergraduate population, and quite frankly, U.S. news care much more about SAT score than admission rate in their selectivity index.

      Judging from your unqualified generalization, I don't think you can get into SEAS with your level of thinking, and even if you did the science professors won't take your bull shits. You probably won't survive. So it is actually better that you self-selected yourself out of doing engineering early on.

      And the reason people go to SEAS rather than Georgia Tech or Purdue (higher ranked engineering schools) is that they train you to be a tool;and they are public schools. On the other hand, MIT is great for doctoral studies but suck at the undergraduate level, because nowadays they care too much about affirmative action to truly recruit any bright student.

      So no, you are an idiot

      • ...  

        you don't like gatech and purdue because "they train you to be a tool"?

        guess it just comes naturally to some people...

      • Anonymous  

        did u just say MIT cares too much about Affirmative action to recruit any 'Bright Students"? think about that, what are you saying really?

        • dude

          its fairly obvious mit does. just google mit affirmative action. also look at the fairly equal proportion of men and women. u know it is so much easier for girls to get into mit relative to guys. affirmative action is alive and well there

          • CC '14  

            That's nice that girls have an easier time getting into MIT and a few other engineering schools.

            How about the fact that because there are too many qualified female candidates applying to the majority of universities nationwide, all of those have a bias towards the less-qualified male students to keep the sex ratio even?

          • Anonymous

            Girls might be equally qualified, but certainly fewer are interested in engineering than guys. So the fact that MIT still maintains a close girls-guys ratio shows they practice intense affirmative action

    • Anonymous  

      I'm from CC, and I don't fault students in SEAS for trying to get jobs on Wall Street. Almost every Columbia and indeed Ivy League student is trying to get lucrative jobs. It just turns out that in this capitalist society, finance jobs are currently still the most lucrative.

      As a music and philosophy major, I find it hard to get a job. This is reality. No matter how much I bull shit my cover letter explaining to employers in finance and consulting why I want to go into these industries and why I am qualified, I still find it harder to win their hearts, especially considering I am competing against 100 other econ majors and engineers for the same position. They definitely have the edge.

      So yes, a pure liberal arts education does not bar one from getting jobs, but it does make it harder. If you don't mind the headache making your case on the job market, then no doubt go for the liberal education where you get to study whatever you like. But i don't recommend it if your goal is getting a good job and don't have the family connection to get it otherwise.

      With respect to the attitude that professional school is somehow inferior, I know deep down that they are not. My hope is to get into business school after college, and it is a professional school. I can't fathom going into arts school, since my goal is to get a good-paying job. Yes, I am being lame and realistic. But at least I'm being honest. Idealism for solving the world's problem is great and admirable, but sometime you have to do good for yourself first...

  15. Anonymous

    I'm in civil engineering and took 2 semester of cc, a philosophy class, art hum, another art history class and a couple semesters of french. People in engineering DO have to take a lot of the core and they have non-tech requirements if you didn't know... People who choose to go to SEAS do so because they want a well-rounded education (I hope) unlike really techy schools like MIT, georgia tech, etc. Also, people in SEAS have to write legitimate papers. My research group and I just finished writing a 60-page paper. It was the first thing we finished before reading week even started. There's really so much overlap between the two schools...

  16. debbie downer  

    stay calm poster edits are tacky and overdone

  17. Tommie TeachHer  

    hey debbie you're tacky and overdone.

    go suck a dick and make something of your life

  18. Anonymous  

    Yea, that womp, womp guy/girl should eat his/her own shit. Now, he's gonna brag about how CC is so much "more selective" than every other school on the planet except Harvard. And I wouldn't be shocked that he will gain even more ego if next year Columbia's admissions rate drops below Harvard's. But here is the reality, you are only fooling yourself by thinking that some admission number decides a school's selectivity.

    Based on your stupid assumption, I would assume that you also got into hmmm let say Princeton, Yale, MIT, Caltech, Stanford, Oxford, Cambridge, Brown, Dartmouth, Cornell, and every other freakin school on the list that has a slightly higher admissions number. But I bet you didn't.

    So stop trying to cover up your own insecurity but putting others down

  19. Anonymous  

    case in point. engineers are procrastinating.

    • Anonymous  

      Haha, I'm from Princeton. I am just stalking through Bwog, because my friend here is telling me how awesome this website is. Columbia students are intense and surprisingly internally conflicted. And yes, I am procrastinating too. I'm an ORFE student at Princeton, so I guess I do qualify as a procrastinating engineer?

      • Anonymous  

        Princeton students are aloof and surprisingly socially insulated.

        I'm assuming that since you're ORFE, you're not in Bicker or any of the more prestigious eating clubs. Also, I'll assume that you're slightly nerdy but socially passable and want to go into Financial Services, preferably Sales & Trading but Investment Banking if the market dictates.

        Given that my question to you is, "How does it feel when you don't have an answer to the first question a Princeton Alum will ask you? What eating club did you belong to?"

        You may respond with, "Fuck you, Columbia is/was ranked [ ] 4 years ago."

      • Anonymous

        You're from Princeton? How are you posting from on campus? 0_O

  20. Anonymous  

    ITT: butthurt humanities majors.

  21. Anonymous  

    I just read the first comment, and saw 50 comments filled with the same bullshit CC vs SEAS and of course the Barnard jokes. Stop arguing, finals is not the time to bring each other down! I come here for a little humor and distraction and I see this!?

    In the end, all that matters is doing whatever makes you satisfied, be it saving the world, raking in the big bucks or working at a local high school and not caring about what other people think. You are going to live with your decisions and your regrets, so you should just concentrate on yourself, so stop fucking comparing, because what works for X person does not necessarily work for Y and Z.

  22. CC12

    As I once heard Kreayshawn say in an interview (don't judge me), the world needs all kinds of bitches. You're all special and should go pet some puppies.

  23. Anon  


  24. Hey guys  

    Drink a glass of water and chill out.

    Your academic difficulty is a lot less relevant than whether or not you can behave as if you're older than 5. =/ There's no reason to behave so pettily, and you make the whole institution look bad when you do.

  25. Anonymous

    "SEAS is easier to get into than CC; therefore, SEAS is easier, and the kids who go there are not as elite."
    -- infallible logic

    • Anonymous  

      Either you are sarcastic or plain dumb

      • Anonymous

        the fact that you can't, without uncertainty, discerne the overwhelming volume of sarcasm in that statement leads me to believe you're a SEAS student....

        now i'm sure that just confused you more.

        i'm kidding. obviously. everyone here is. the whole competition thing is bullshit but inevitable. i urge people not to complain, but when others do, just understand that it helps them feel better, so don't raise a hissy fit when they do. if you need to counter with your large amount of work to feel better then do so, but then don't complain when others do the same.

  26. CC'11, SEAS'12

    alright guys why are we fighting here? whether you are studying engineering or art history, we are all one people. we all passed under the watchful eye of the dark lord jessica marinaccio and survived.

    now those barnard people on the other hand...

  27. On the MIT debate  

    Here's plenty of evidence for affirmative action here to me:

    When they say holistic, it's an excuse to recruit minorities who might not best fit the traditional criteria of merit and ability, of course. It seems, from the reading, that MIT is becoming a melting pot of different people, a big, interesting "family of students." It is definitely a place to go if I want to meet people of all walks of life, but I wouldn't necessarily assume that they are all geniuses and the best of the best.

    To be fair though, Columbia is also pretty big on affirmative action. Still, it is irrational to stereotype MIT as being a center of geniuses more than places like Columbia. There's simply no grounding. To make that judgment, many of you are inherently admitting that science and engineering students are somehow naturally smarter than humanities students.

  28. Ash  

    Humanities majors and engineers should STFU. Trying to convince my Pikachu to evolve is SOO much harder than your finals

  29. Barnard '13  

    Psh I don't know why you guys are even arguing. Barnard is obviously much harder than CC or SEAS. Try having to know in NINE WHOLE WAYS and look cute while doing it!

  30. [email protected]  

    This (less polarizing) version was posted on [email protected] last year: I used it as my desktop wallpaper

  31. Anonymous  

    We are all students of Columbia University, and therefore the greatest people in the world. We must stand united under the same blue flag no-matter what our affiliations or backgrounds appear to be.

  32. get ready for the cliche  

    I'd honestly rather be happy and poor and do what I love, rather lead a hollow existence defined exclusively by the quantitative.


    art history major lovin' LIFE.

  33. ...  

    this is kinda like, the best troll ever. even better, bwog (knowingly or unknowingly) played along...

    you know, this could be like a real columbia tradition that truly reflects the values of the school. every semester during exams, people compete to see who can bring out the best of columbia hatred as everyone hides behind the delineations setup by the university for reasons that don't really stretch much further beyond justification of allowing the bureaucracy to grow...

    • Anonymous

      Stress? Hyper-competitive douchebaggerry? Arbitrary delineations? Self-sustaining and propagating bureaucracy?

      You've done it, summarized Columbia in a paragraph. This information should be sent out with acceptance letters.

  34. transfer SEAS -> CC  

    This is my first finals season as a CC student. I only have 4 finals, 2 of which are take home. My 2 CC majors COMBINED have less requirements than my one SEAS major did and I've just been chillin this entire semester.

  35. Whichever school...  

    posts more on this obviously has less work to do. Stop procrastinating and study for your finals.

  36. Anonymous  

    this makes both schools look like hyper competitive assholes. please let's never do this again. threads like this sum up everything the rest of the world hates about us.

  37. HARPDARP  

    HARP DARP r/circlejerk

  38. Anonymous  

    We didn't start the flame war
    peeps were hating on the forum
    before I left my comment

  39. Anonymous  

    economics is a real major! you can suck it

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