Connect with us

All Articles

Learn Your Limericks!

Bwog shines equally favorably on all cretins of the Core. We did it for CC, and oh, okay, since you insist, Lit Hum gets a bone too. Way back when, a few Bwoggers converted several thousands of pages of reading into limericks—the perfect size for you to memorize in between a breakfast of Red Bull and Pepsi Max. Read on for anapests aplenty!

Homer, The Iliad
Achilles, the raging Achaean,
Agamemnon’s war plans was derailin’.
For the city of Troy,
And for Helen, a ploy
With a horse was the Greek soldiers’ way in.

[Editor’s Note: Actually, the Trojan Horse doesn’t appear in detail until The Aeneid next semester, but The Odyssey briefly mentions the Greek’s crafty gift.]

Homer, The Odyssey
After Troy, brave Odysseus wandered,
Adventured and tarried and pondered,
Saw Calypso and Cyclops
‘Pon Ionian outcrops,
Thence home ere Pen’s honor was squandered!

Herodotus, The Histories
Father of history, Herodotus
Wrote of wars, and lies and lust:
“Gyges ruled,
Scythians were cruel,
But remembering human achievement’s a must.”

Euripides, Medea
Jason was not a good guy.
To Medea he had said goodbye.
So you know what she did?
She killed all her kids
And then she flew off in the sky.

Aristophanes, Lysistrata
Of war all Greek women had tired,
So together they met and conspired.
They knew what men wanted,
So their husbands they taunted:
“For sex, complete peace is required.”

Plato, Symposium
Some hung-over Greeks had doubt
Over what love was all about
Was virtue correct?
Or trading wisdom for sex?
But “Forms!” was Socrates’ cop-out.

Old Testament (Two verses for the price of one!)
When God said “Let there be light,”
He showcased all of his might.
He plagued Pharaoh with flies,
Made the Red Sea dry
And then gave Job quite a fright

Job and job are capitonymic words
Like Polish and polish, or Herb and herb
And though this doesn’t have much to do
With the story of that unfortunate Jew
It does make the story a little absurd.

[Editor’s Note: Job wasn’t Jewish, but whatevs]

New Testament

So God was feeling frisky,
decided to be a bit risky.
Got in bed with Mary,
of course he did not tarry!
You know the rest of the story.

Leave a Reply to archilochus Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published.



  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous God got in bed with Mary?! Everyone knows it was that horny asshole Joseph.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Limericks are supposed to rhyme.

  • more fun study strategies says:

    @more fun study strategies marry/fuck/kill: Odysseus, Achilles, Hector

    1. Hmmm... says:

      @Hmmm... M: Hector – Total family man
      F: Achilles – Love me some angry sex
      K: Odysseus – Cheating bastard

  • Clytaemnestra fanboy says:

    @Clytaemnestra fanboy What about the Oresteia, bwog?

    1. Oresteia? Pshh says:

      @Oresteia? Pshh Brotha, puh-leeze. The Clyt is a myth.

  • archilochus says:

    @archilochus Doesn’t anyone teach meter anymore? Half of these aren’t even limericks. I shall now demonstrate a properly executed limerick:

    O Bwoggers! You uncouth agrestics!
    Pray, cease from your rude anapestics!
    Unstressed, stressed, unstressed;
    Repeat twice, and rest;
    Or else you’ve composed catachrestics.

  • archilochus says:

    @archilochus Sing, muse, the wrath of the freshmen,
    at lithum’s masturbo-execretion:
    I mean to say it
    was a load of jack-shit,
    If you’ll pardon my vulgar confession.

  • Twitch says:

    @Twitch Orestes had problems with women,
    Though the Furies might have been within.
    Killed his mom for his dad,
    Which is strange for a lad.
    So I guess against Freud he did sin.

  • Have Your Say

    What should you actually Venmo people for?

    View Results

    Loading ... Loading ...

    Recent Comments

    Truly truly, I loved this piece. Keep up the good work! (read more)
    Recent Columbia Crushes That Bwog Will Be Taking The Liberty To Cancel
    February 22, 2020
    not online unfortunately (read more)
    Review: Bold Beautiful Barnard Underwear
    February 22, 2020
    It’s being renovated. You will survive. (read more)
    ConspiracyBwog: The Pupin Elevator is a Portal to Hell
    February 22, 2020
    or maybe don’t be annoying? just a thought (read more)
    To Whoever Just Shushed Me On Milstein 2
    February 21, 2020

    Comment Policy

    The purpose of Bwog’s comment section is to facilitate honest and open discussion between members of the Columbia community. We encourage commenters to take advantage of—without abusing—the opportunity to engage in anonymous critical dialogue with other community members. A comment may be moderated if it contains:
    • A slur—defined as a pejorative derogatory phrase—based on ethnicity, race, gender, sexual orientation, ability, or spiritual belief
    • Hate speech
    • Unauthorized use of a person’s identity
    • Personal information about an individual
    • Baseless personal attacks on specific individuals
    • Spam or self-promotion
    • Copyright infringement
    • Libel