Okay, that Real World exists too—but more importantly there’s that one plagued by tons of problems as well as a bunch of conceited head-cases on all sides of issues vying to be in charge of the whole mess. Maybe that describes both real worlds, come to think of it. Anyway, the 2012 election cycle took off with a bang in Iowa the other day, and if you’re anything like us, you’re a little out of the loop as you catch up on the sleep you missed during finals. We sympathize; the winter break coma is a real and medically diagnosable condition. So for those of you who’ve refused to crack open a newspaper (or switch on an iPad), here’s the quick and dirty for the 2012 Republican Iowa Caucuses.

Best In Show

Mitt Romney won the contest by a mere eight votes (one of the closest in modern political history), Rick Santorum behind him in second place, Ron Paul in third, and Newt Gingrich after him.

The name of the game for much of the GOP primary battle in 2011 was, “who can be the best not-Mitt Romney.” First it was Michele Bachmann, then Rick Perry, Herman Cain, Newt Gingrich, and finally (?) Rick Santorum and Ron Paul both appear to have received attention and poll bumps without really doing much of anything, besides not being wealthy Mormon financiers. This is, of course, national, but the real battle takes place in early primary voting states, like Iowa and New Hampshire.

After the 24/7 2011 media shit storm surrounding the GOP primary, voting mercifully began on Tuesday for the 2012 Republican Iowa Caucus. This is a contest for around 1% (25 delegates) of the total national delegates in the Republican convention, in a state with only 614,913 registered Republican voters, and with voter turnout of only 19.9% to boot. There are approximately double the number of people in Harlem (210,000) as voted on Tuesday, but don’t expect Anderson to show up at polling stations along 125th this November.

 chart via Keith Humphreys