Caption Contest: Portraits of the Human Condition

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And now for Bwog’s latest effort to be just like The New Yorker: our first caption contest! Because we want more than your excited, outraged, or bored post comments. We want the raw expressions of your psyche, in one line or less.

You know the drill: examine, interpret, express. Comment with your most incisive, searing captions for any or all of the following pictures. Global fame, the eternal respect of your peers, and the conceit that you are the sharpest person at Columbia lay on the line.

Fire away!

For Bwog by Louise McCune

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  1. exhibit 2

    see no beagle, hear no beagle, speak no beagle

  2. Exhibit 3  

    They finally improved Cafe 212.

  3. 3  

    masterpieces of western food to boot.

  4. Exhibit 1  

    Prezbo, I want you to draw me like one of your French girls

  5. 1  

    "libidinal cathexis of the ego"

  6. your boss

    exhibit 2: "Surprise your S/O this Valentines Day with our #1 Best Selling Kinkiest Role Playing Fantasy Costume! Take Doggy Style to a Whole New Level! Be Strong. Be Bold. Be BARNARD."

    - seas guy who is sick like that.

  7. 2.

    "4, 3, 2, 1... okay I'm gonna find you!!"


    "wtf, Sirius, turning into a dog doesn't count as hiding!"

  8. Anonymous  

    3: Fuck Ferris stairs.

  9. harmony hunter  

    found harmony.

    maybe you can, too.

  10. Anonymous  

    I feel like Bwog imagined this comment thread differently.

  11. exhibit 1  

    1st time cuming 2 office hrs? ;) ;) ;)

  12. The Best Shitty Captions

    1: Why yes, I have a healthy narcissism.

    2: The Shadow Knows

    3: Dada!

  13. Exhibit 3  

    Talk about a sandwhich, AMIRITE OK!?

  14. Exhibit 1  

    Despite her years of teaching and accomplishments, Susan Elmes still only had one facial expression.

  15. exhibit 1

    Carbon-monoxide takes another life

  16. Exhibit 3

    MEATWAD, did you put a boot in my sandwich!?!?

  17. tracking feature

    the guy above me is hilarious! pick him!

  18. exhibit 3  

    Man, I shouldn't have had that much to drink. I just booted at lunch.

  19. exhibit 3  

    "Deluxe with grilled onions, please."

  20. exhibit 3  

    "Sorry, I thought I said deluxe."

  21. CC-Aum

    #1: Facebook wall now available for your living room wall.

  22. cc12  

    ex1- " i know, such detail! my stalker drew them."

    ex2- "it's time greg, kill them all."

    ex3- "i boot every time i see tomatoes."


  23. exhibit 1

    "Well enough about me. What do YOU think of my portraits?"

  24. Alum '11

    Exhibit 1: where's my dildo?

  25. ...  

    exhibit 1) shadywood villas assisted living: old pundits don't have to die, we have a happy place

    exhibit 2) o'douls: never be surprised again.

    exhibit 3) columbia dining: we could serve you this, and there'd be nothing you could do about it, cuz you paid up front... fool!

    these are kinda weak. but whatever.

  26. ok  

    1. lockhart ain't got nothin' on me.
    2. kafka's best friend
    3. dining has really stepped it up this year.

  27. Anonymous  

    3. Lunched up kicks.

  28. EXHIBIT 2

    "okay! you can look now! I promise my costume is as funny as the guys in this thread!"

  29. Anonymous  

    1. Couch under woman
    2. Dog with man
    3. Lunch under boot

    Those should put me in like...second place?

  30. the reason

    The New Yorker's caption contests work is there is because of the awkward situations portrayed in them by the artist. Usually the top captions simply translate current events to fit those comedic tropes. Simply drawing random stylized cartoons is not enough. Good idea though Bwog, hope to see more of this (and comics with more potential) in the future.

  31. Edit:

    typos galore there, mea culpa.

    *"work's" and delete "is there"

  32. 3

    Yelled at the bald Milano deliman for "mascarpone"; he gave me "scarpone" alright...

  33. seasalum '10

    1. "I knew I shouldn't have worn a snuggie for my 5th portrait"
    2. I was on shrooms when I thought my best friend was literally a dawg
    3. Unfashionable things for Barnard girls: a. Food. b. Soda. c. Timberland Boots

  34. exhibit 1  

    chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool an' all

  35. seas  

    I) knew it was a bad idea to a couch in the kitchen
    II) i love switching bodies with my dog. its socially acceptable to piss in public
    III) the 99% "dont tread on meat"

  36. #2  

    Next month's feature exhibit at the MoMA: Interpreting Cardboard Cutouts

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