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Dodge’s Unusual Sights and Smells

If you were at the gym any time in the last hour and a half, you were assaulted by a decadent spread of food on the court at the bottom of the tri-level fitness center. “What smells are these?” you might have wondered, noting that odors of greasy carnival food had usurped those of brotein-enhanced farts and stale sweat.

So you followed your nose, looked down, and saw table after table of corn dogs, hot dogs, mac and cheese, cotton candy, and even, upon closer inspection, portions of that ill-fated chili from outside John Jay. This kind of food polluting the gym would have been sadistic enough on its own, even without all the screaming, sugar-high, faculty brats. All these sources of sensory overload were brought in for the Faculty/Staff Festival before tonight’s Cornell basketball matchups. If you want to see sports, the women started play at 4:30 pm, and the men tip off at 7.

All the smells of a carnival, none of the ventilation.

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