It appears that our blue neighbors to the North have a serious problem: in an article published last Friday, Yale Daily News reports that Yale’s single men are “maybe-I’ll-just-eat-this-sandwich-instead” terrible at copulating! Bwog is keenly aware of the prevalent hook-up culture at Columbia, so we wondered, what about our men?
A wild commenter has already done some preliminary analysis:
The best lovers in the Ivy League are all Columbia engineering students.
So the case is settled, right?
Well, maybe not. While both Yale and CC (sorry SEAS) have a practically even male:female ratio, the addition of Barnard’s 2,300 women to the campus community could only exacerbate this issue. And it seems like Yale isn’t the only school making its gripes about hook-up culture. Maybe that commenter was won over by all the “Consent is Sexy” seminars. (After all, Columbia is ranked at the top of the list for best sex ed programs.) Maybe not.
What say you, planet Columbia?
42 Comments
@Anonymous If you really want a treat, seek out the 3-2 kids at SEAS. They actually know how to communicate things other than calculus and they’ve already got experience under their belts from their previous college, unlike most of the virgins in Mudd.
Thinking their intense curriculum is a problem? Guess again, just meet them in lab after hours. Amazing.
@Anonymous ^^^ that was a response to The guys up at the top
@Anonymous Ahh you need another SEAS guy. No more CC. I would have to say, the SEAS guy I was with beat any guy in CC, on campus, and off campus. All I can say is….WOW!
@sexism is in the air that’s great everyone. now let’s hear the other debate:
seas vs cc vs barnard girls.
discuss.
@Anonymous I really want to brag about my sexual CV (Curriculum Veneris?). Where’s Juicy Campus when you need it?
@CC Best lover I’ve ever had is a SEAS ladeh, hands down.
@... sex is pretty much like everything else here in the heights, it’s around, but it’s pretty mediocre, overpriced (in terms of how much obnoxiousness you have to put up with) and generally unsatisfying. just like everything else… if you want the real deal, you have to spend hours on trains. that said, it’s not all bad… one upshot to spending the night in the city is that you can actually get a decent breakfast before you venture back northward to the barren wastelands of columbia.
@Barnard hoe I couldn’t tell, I’m always drunk when they are nailing my vaginer sideways.
@Anonymous if you’re a troll, as I suspect, grow the fuck up and stop degrading barnard girls. if you’re actually a barnard girl, why contribute to the negative, cultural perception of your gender as defined in a patriarchal society?
like, I’m the dude. that’s my job.
(kidding. srsly, demeaning women is not cool.)
@my findings... i’ve sampled 5 cc, 3 seas, 1 gs, and 1 (cc) alum…
all have the same propensity to be assholes, undergrads all had roughly the same skill level, and the older 2 were the most disappointing-i thought they would have learned something. at the same time, some of them were lovely and worth falling in love with. in the end, i haven’t been able to come to any conclusions based on school, though listen up, relationship sex is much better than the sample platter.
@V-Club V-club rules! No one wants a sloppy…
@Anonymous or an over used…
@Anonymous Why not?
(Also, track button)
@Anonymous On that note, my only Columbia sexual experience was with a deceptively attractive SEAS student and unfortunately it was absolutely terrible!
@Anonymous As another girlfriend of a SEAS guy, I’ll say yes. He rings my bell 4 times, every time.
@Anonymous As the girlfriend of a SEAS dude, I’ll say yes. Good in bed.
@Devil's Advocate As GF of a SEAS dude you could as easily be busted.
@Anonymous As the ex girlfriend of a SEAS boy, I say bad, bad in bed
@Anonymous Talk nerdy to me.
@Anonymous Why, though? She didn’t identify any of these guys by name or even class year. Only one of them was even identified by appearance, and it would be pretty hard to pick one guy out from a few thousand on the basis of “blond” and “skinny.” She didn’t even make any sweeping generalizations about CC and SEAS guys– she just reported her sexual activities in an anonymous and scientific manner. She has rated her sexual partners in certain categories because those are the categories relevant to the question posed in the post above; that doesn’t mean that she personally ranks these guys based only on the criteria mentioned here.
No need to make snap judgements on people just because they’re being honest.
@ahem...regarding stamina... if we can get fucked all night from dawn to dusk, and from dusk to dawn doing stochastic calculus psets in multiple positions, anywhere on campus from the butler stacks till 4am to the memorial steps till 7am to right outside public safety’s office (cause im kinky like that), doing a human being in an environment so nurturing and carefree as a bed in a dorm is seriously childsplay.
– seas guy who likes kinky sex positions that last hours and likes to juxtapose said sexual aspirations with his stochastic calculus homework and articulate such comparisons on online blogs like bwog.
@omg marry me lol. :)
@Anonymous there’s nothing like a SEAS boys explaining quantum theory to get me hot and bothered
@Anonymous Ohhh, rub my Schrodinger’s cat, baby. Mmm.
@Curious how does GS fit the bill?
@GS-er We know what we’re doing and the morning after doesn’t involve retrieving our school IDs from a security guard in the lobby.
@You started it Yep. Basically having no fun and aiming to be one of these: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Columbia_University_School_of_General_Studies#Notable_alumni_and_attendees
instead of this:
http://www.dancewithshadows.com/celebrity/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/barack-obama-columbia.jpg
WAI SO YOU SUCCESSFUL?!
@ha you wish. there are gs dudes getting signed in to dorms every night of the weekend, and it is always hilarious.
@The guys I’ve hooked up with at Columbia, in chronological order:
1. CC – wet kisser, gay (like, actually. I’m not using “gay” as an insult).
2. CC – weird, and gay.
3. CC – pretty awesome, but used too much teeth.
4. CC – hot, blonde, and skinny.
5. SEAS – so willing to try new things but average at oral and weird dirty talk. “I’d fuck you in California time”… uh, okay. Also, ugliest guy I’ve hooked up with.
6. CC – worst kisser ever.
7. CC – best cunnilingus ever.
8. CC – best analingus ever.
9. CC – hottest guy ever, period.
10. CC – smallest dick, yet the best sex ever.
Yeah, I can’t say I’m qualified to answer this question.
@Analingus Appetite lost.
@If you're the one getting, it’s totally freaking worth it.
@Integrity You are perhaps the most reprehensible person to ever grace this earth. You have no integrity. You have objectified men and evaluate them in a crude, repugnant manner. It is people like you that are scum, infecting and breeding this society into oblivion.
Shame on you.
@Anonymous Why, though? She didn’t identify any of these guys by name or even class year. Only one of them was even identified by appearance, and it would be pretty hard to pick one guy out from a few thousand on the basis of “blond” and “skinny.” She didn’t even make any sweeping generalizations about CC and SEAS guys– she just reported her sexual activities in an anonymous and scientific manner. She has rated her sexual partners in certain categories because those are the categories relevant to the question posed in the post above; that doesn’t mean that she personally ranks these guys based only on the criteria mentioned here.
No need to make snap judgements on people just because they’re being honest.
@dude they are trolling
@Oh shut up I see an OkCupid 30 to 45 age bracket in your future.
@Anonymous Why do we all have to pretend sex is meaningless? I’m not saying we should be celibate until marriage, but it is an intimate act. You are becoming one body with another person, which on this earth (and at this school) is special, given how separate we are.
We don’t need to pretend at cosmopolitanism and act like sex doesn’t matter.
@Well (and this is coming from the girl who did the list), it depends. You can say it’s all physically intimate, but it’s not always emotionally intimate. I’m sure it probably matters to you. I can say that at least 6 of those people, it was just for the hell of it and just for kicks, but for a couple, it mattered. Sex is only as intimate as any single person makes it, and also depending on who it is. The same person can have sex ten times with a person and never see it as intimate, and then can have a one-night stand with another person and it can be the most intimate thing ever.
Of course, sometimes making a joke out of it makes it easier to minimize the intimacy you felt with a stranger. That, I agree with.
@Impressed Good for you sister! I’m glad someone on this campus is getting that much action!
@Everybody wants some I WANT SOME TOOOOOOO!
@oh yeah You should compile a hook up CV. Make sure to include pictures!
@im going to fcuk all the girls on campus tonight.
@Mad propz for that Alexi Shaw throwback.
– CC ’12