The cake was a lie

Today, a few intrepid Columbia students unsatisfied by ethnically ambiguous dining hall offerings ventured into Hamilton 702 with open minds and empty stomachs for the supposed first lecture of a course entitled “Masterpieces of Western Food.” While immediately put off by the alarming lack of snacks, this audacious reporter stuck it out, for reasons of journalistic integrity and an unfortunate seating choice that would have made it awkward to get up and leave.

Over the course of forty minutes or so, the “TA” regaled a small audience (including one brave and foolish LitHum instructor) with quotes from an ancient Greek text detailing the merits of eel scrotum, a description of explorers’ first encounters with the “faceless other” (the potato), and speculation on the implications of George Washington’s diet on current obesity levels. Perhaps the strangest portion of the class was an unreasonably long video of a “Professor of Food Studies” pontificating on the ickiness of cow udders and how milk is for babies. There was also a description of syllabus requirements including “take home baking assignments” to be delivered to the TA’s residence at regular intervals. Nearly everyone was extremely skeptical at this point, but mouthwatering pictures of soufflé inspired desperate hopes for culinary enlightenment.

At the end of the lecture, those who were eagerly anticipating their “taste analysis papers” were informed that the class was a joke. The students, whether disappointed or amused, filed out into the damp January air, left to contemplate such eternal questions as “Seriously, no free food?” and “Ferris or John Jay?”

Worst prank ever via Wikimedia