Feb

14

Personals: St. Augustine, A.D 354

Written by

Bwog proudly presents that most desired bachelor of the past millennium. Interested parties, contact [email protected], and we’ll provide $10 for your hot date. And don’t worry if you don’t get the jokes — we didn’t read Confessions either.

St. Augustine

Name, Year, School, Major: Augustine a.k.a. Auggie, C ’87,  Ascetic Studies

Preference: Lowly mortal seeking passionate divine love

Hometown: The Heart of God

Your dream date in seven words or less: Stealing pears with my concubine reading scripture and not having sex

What redeems you as a human being?: I spent the rest of my life in self-loathing for stealing pears when I was 15.

Myers Briggs Personality Type: ISTJ

Ref Room or 209: Whichever is sure to be free of the Manicheans.

Guilty Pleasure Song: Music is an empty, sinful, sensuous experience which condemns the soul to hell.

Late Night Food Stop: Eating is an empty, sinful, sensuous experience which condems the soul to hell.

Historical Hottie: The Holy Ghost

Tags: , , , , , ,

12 Comments

  1. George Bluth, Sr.  

    NO TOUCHING!!!!!

  2. Anonymous  

    What a coincidence! And here I am thinking that I'm the only ISTJ around.

  3. I banged your mom

    but really...

  4. OH BABY

    LET'S DO SOME EROTIC FOOD PLAY WITH PEARS

  5. Anonymous

    hes just so wonderful. i dont know what id do without him or his wonderful confessions. it put me to tears. i mean sleep.

  6. Anonymous  

    "as far as appealing pics go – fail."

  7. Anonymous  

    These are my confessions - I wanna have an empty, sinful and sensuous experience with you.

  8. Anonymous  

    Ashamed to say this may have been a good study aid. If I only had one for each book...

  9. This  

    is the nerdiest but most wonderful thing I have seen since that guy wrote a rap about Alexander Hamilton and presented it to the president in the White House's private poetry slam.

© 2006-2015 Blue and White Publishing Inc.