Personals: St. Augustine, A.D 354
Written by Bwog Staff
Bwog proudly presents that most desired bachelor of the past millennium. Interested parties, contact [email protected], and we’ll provide $10 for your hot date. And don’t worry if you don’t get the jokes — we didn’t read Confessions either.
Name, Year, School, Major: Augustine a.k.a. Auggie, C ’87, Ascetic Studies
Preference: Lowly mortal seeking passionate divine love
Hometown: The Heart of God
Your dream date in seven words or less:
Stealing pears with my concubine reading scripture and not having sex
What redeems you as a human being?: I spent the rest of my life in self-loathing for stealing pears when I was 15.
Myers Briggs Personality Type: ISTJ
Ref Room or 209: Whichever is sure to be free of the Manicheans.
Guilty Pleasure Song: Music is an empty, sinful, sensuous experience which condemns the soul to hell.
Late Night Food Stop: Eating is an empty, sinful, sensuous experience which condems the soul to hell.
Historical Hottie: The Holy Ghost
Tags: but don't try any romantic songs, don't try any food of any kind actually, or touching, personals, the pears part is the only part anybody fucking knows because they didnt read it, these are my confesssions just when i thought i said all i could say, you'll find love in a hopeless place