They're coming for you

A spokeswoman for Rick Santorum realized a little late that not all of Obama’s policies can be blamed on his radical Islamic nature. (Gawker)

A Chicago public school teacher learned the hard way that you cannot, in fact, use racial slurs as teaching tools. (Gothamist)

All the broke hipsters out there can no longer use American Apparel as their den of thievery. (Huffington Post)

Attention Columbia undergrads: Now you, too, can lead porn into a new age. (Salon)

And perhaps the most important realization of all: How has no one yet discovered that the Girl Scouts are in fact a front for the radical, anti-American agenda? (NY Mag)

Commie spies via Wikimedia Commons