Bwog hates to break it to you: it’s job-search time. Continuing our series of sitting down and writing about it, an anonymous posterior with perfect interview posture shares what it’s like to be in the hot seat.

No staff-member would dare brave the CCE waiting room pre- or post-interview long enough to snap a photo.

What has five minutes to memorize a stock pitch, two stiffly crossed legs, and one weirdly plush, Columbia-crested black leather folder with several copies of a resume inside?

You, and every single person you’ve ever shared an awkward cross-Lit-Hum glance with—if you’re one of the sophomores or juniors who’s joined the race for a summer finance internship, that is.

Welcome to the waiting room bench in Columbia’s Center for Career Education—the kids are calling it the CCE. You’re about to spend what feels like the next two hundred years here; 35 minutes later, you’ll stumble out of the building, still subconsciously reciting that day’s DOW, NASDAQ, and S&P ratings over and over again in the back of your mind, buttoning and unbuttoning the jacket of your awkwardly fitted suit, and you’ll have no idea where you sat or how it felt as you awaited your time slot.

Little will you know: the secret’s in the sit.

How you decide to rest your ‘cheeks on the cushions that line the room’s pews dictates the agility and faux-confidence with which you’ll lift off from your seat and glide—or totter—toward the deceptively kind-eyed interviewer to whom you’ll extend a single clammy palm. The sense of finality with which you will or won’t press your spine and shoulder blades against the wooden bench backing is practically a scientific indicator of how well you will or won’t package your “non-traditional background” as your biggest strength. Even the physical coordinates of the spot you choose on the long, narrow seating plays a major role in your employability—an off-duty interviewer, watching as he or she takes a break at the water coolers, can’t possibility be expected to take note of your grace and good manners as you lie “Good luck” and offer a weak smile to your seat-mates if you aren’t even sitting near enough to your opponents to make eye contact with one.

So, what color are those cushions on which you’ll rest your anxious bottom? What’s the grain of the wood on the backing like? Is the bench even made of wood?

We’ll get back to you after we cram to learn these 52-week high-low oil prices—if we have time in the next minute or two before our name is called.

Easiest stock photo to find ever via Wikimedia Commons.