In the beginning was the McKinsey report, and the McKinsey report was a BFD. Last week, we broke down the”who” “when” and “why” parts—now we bring you the “what.” After squinting at all 12 badly rendered slides for 10+ minutes, consulting tons of super important experts, and figuring out how to copy and paste from Spec’s PDF, we’re proud to present the best of the McKinsey Report jargon. Sit back, crack open a PBR, and join us as we scoff at corporate stuff.

Jargon: it's like a bunch of euphemisms, but douchier

Choice phrases:

• “Consider selected investments in instructional and infrastructural capacities”
• “Key enablers for each structure type”
• “Establish policies concerning the ‘care and feeding’ of students”
• “Cross-cutting challenges”
• “Suboptimal knowledge sharing and adoption of best practices”
• “Identify incremental offerings to increase offerings”
• “Sub-optimal decision making effectiveness”
• “Inform the allocation of decision rights”
• “Solution approach to be determined”

By the numbers:

• Appearances of the phrase “vis-a-vis”: 4
• Dramatically shaded arrows: 6
• Other schools mentioned: 8
• Vague-but-fun chart count: 10
• Deans interviewed: 11
• Ratio of “e.g.”s to “etc”s: 31 to 1
• Flashbacks we had to failed case interviews: 1 million