Campus (Not Really) On Fire
Written by Bwog Staff
Simultaneous fire alarms in Butler, Lerner, John Jay, Hartley, and Wallach.
Around 6:05, the fire alarm went off in Butler. I relocated to Wallach lounge to continue working, when the fire alarm went off again at 6:15. There was all this shouting in the lobby and a girl sobbing. Four security officers had pinned an individual to the ground who I couldn’t see. The fire alarm was also ringing in John Jay and Hartley.
Update 6:36: Prof. Foner spotted strolling out of Butler cool as a cat.
Update 6:46: Butler failed to burn down. Masses are attempting to squeeze through the front doors all at once. A big game of musical chairs, in many ways. To all the suckers who took everything with them from the Ref Room: that table with only a small book in front of each empty chair is now “Bwog’s Table.” Don’t hate the player, hate the game.
Update 7:03: Speculative gossip about the cause in the comments below.
“Butler has already taken my soul, so it might as well take my body.”