Apr

25

Campus (Not Really) On Fire

Written by

Simultaneous fire alarms in Butler, Lerner, John Jay, Hartley, and Wallach.

Tipster’s report:

Around 6:05, the fire alarm went off in Butler. I relocated to Wallach lounge to continue working, when the fire alarm went off again at 6:15. There was all this shouting in the lobby and a girl sobbing. Four security officers had pinned an individual to the ground who I couldn’t see. The fire alarm was also ringing in John Jay and Hartley.

Update 6:36: Prof. Foner spotted strolling out of Butler cool as a cat.

Update 6:46: Butler failed to burn down. Masses are attempting to squeeze through the front doors all at once. A big game of musical chairs, in many ways. To all the suckers who took everything with them from the Ref Room: that table with only a small book in front of each empty chair is now “Bwog’s Table.” Don’t hate the player, hate the game.

Update 7:03: Speculative gossip about the cause in the comments below.

“Butler has already taken my soul, so it might as well take my body.”

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24 Comments

  1. Anonymous  

    fire in the tunnels? strange that Carmen wasn't affected.

  2. Anonymous  

    when will this be over

  3. Anonymous  

    Hurry up and report more details about this, Bwog!

  4. Anonymous  

    Fire alarm in Big Warren at 5:20pm...

  5. eavesdropper  

    after watching that sobbing girl direct security guards to the culprit[s], i stood outside butler and heard the security guard talking to a facilities dude... apparently a couple students may have planned the old fire-alarm-pull-and-dash-out-the-side-doors-of-butler trick. Perhaps to steal a book? A rare manuscript? A stale sandwich from Butler cafe? Alternatively, some men just want to watch the world burn...

  6. uh

    was the pinned-down student trying to assault her or something and she pulled the alarm?

    • lol  

      I like your creativity/imagination, but that doesn't explain how alarms in five different buildings went off.

      • ah my bad

        didnt read that part lol.

        but why was she crying? did her friend pull the alarm and she was sad he was caught? but if he was her friend, why did she point him out? ok, so he wasn't her friend. she probably didn't even know who he is. so she's just a witness to someone pulling the butler alarm. but even then, why would you cry about that? something else must be up.

  7. verified  

    It was Foner.

  8. Anonymous  

    Maybe the girl was sobbing so the security guards wouldn't catch her. Maybe she was just a distraction stealthily placed.

  9. Answer  

    Evidently there was an attempted Coup d'état by GS seniors against PREZBO and PrezBo set off the alarms off to alert the security guards about this. The tackled person was a GS senior who was attempting to rally more to his cause. The weeping girl was so touched by the GS student's struggles that she broke down into tears.

  10. Anonymous  

    Does anyone know when phi beta kappa inductees are notified?

  11. Anonymous  

    do you know if today is when they email ALL inductees?

  12. Anonymous  

    Not sure if this is the cause but there was a fight going on between a young guy and an older guy (possibly his dad?) in Lerner. Like you could hear the punches and struggling. A security guard went to them and a second later, the fire alarm rang. This is second-hand account.

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